The male gaze + sexual wellness.

Let’s just say it: female pleasure has been misunderstood, dismissed, and distorted for far too long. And the male gaze? She’s been running the show like an overworked director with a fragile ego and no clue how women actually work.

In my latest podcast episode, I unpacked the connection between the male gaze and female orgasms, and no, not just in a “sex ed” kind of way. I’m talking about the emotional, psychological, and very real impact that cultural conditioning has had on how women experience (or struggle to experience) intimacy and pleasure.

Spoiler: it’s not you.
It’s the pressure to perform.
To look good while feeling good.
To prioritize someone else’s desire over your own.

The male gaze is not your mirror

If you’ve ever been in your head during sex, wondering what you look like instead of how you feel, you’re not alone. That’s the male gaze, embedded like background noise in so many women’s minds.

It’s not about hating men. It’s about understanding how growing up in a world that tells you your value is how desirable you are can really mess with your sense of self. Even in your most intimate, personal moments.

And that shame or detachment you might feel around your body? It’s not your fault. It’s conditioning. And the good news? It can be unlearned.

Orgasms are not a performance

We grow up learning that pleasure is a bonus, not the point. That it’s something you earn. That it’s supposed to look a certain way. Cue the performative moans, the faking, the fear of “taking too long.”

But here’s the truth: you don’t exist for someone else’s viewing pleasure.

Pleasure is a birthright. Self-love isn’t just bubble baths and affirmations, it’s being able to connect to your body, feel safe in it, explore what you like, and not feel guilty about wanting more.

So what does sexual wellness really mean?

It means understanding that your body isn’t an object.
It’s a home.
A place where you feel, not just look.

It means learning what feels good, not because Cosmo said so, not because your ex liked it, but because you like it.

It means removing shame, comparison, and “am I doing this right?” energy from your most sacred moments.

And yes, it means talking about orgasms on a podcast. With your iced matcha. In your car. Because that’s real life.

If this resonated, go give the episode a listen.
It’s not about shock value, it’s about reclaiming something that was never supposed to be shameful in the first place.

You deserve to take up space, in your pleasure, in your body, in your story.