How to quiet your inner hater.

(Because she’s loud, dramatic, and usually wrong)

You know the one.
The voice that pops up the second you start to feel good about yourself.

“You really think you’re gonna pull that off?”
“She’s way better at that than you are.”
“Maybe just… stay small today.”

That voice?
That’s your inner hater. And we all have one.

Some days she whispers, some days she yells. But either way, she’s exhausting, and most of the time, she’s not even telling the truth.

So how do you quiet her down without pretending she doesn’t exist?

Here’s what’s helped me:

1. Catch her in the act.

The first step is noticing when she shows up. It’s usually in moments of growth or vulnerability. A new opportunity, a first date, a creative idea you’re excited about.
She’ll try to keep you “safe” by talking you out of anything that feels unfamiliar.

But once you name her—”oh hey, it’s that self-doubt again”, you take away some of her power.

Awareness = distance.

2. Talk back… like a friend would.

Would you let your best friend say that sh*t to herself? No.
So when your inner critic spirals into “You’re not good enough,”
try this instead:
“Actually, I’m doing the best I can.”
“This feels hard, but I’m still showing up.”
“I don’t have to be perfect to be proud of myself.”

You don’t need to lie to yourself. You just need to be kinder.

3. Take the action anyway.

Your inner hater thrives on inaction.
If you stay stuck, she gets to stay in charge.

But when you do the thing, launch the blog, go to the event, wear the outfit, say the thing, you collect evidence that she’s wrong.
That you’re capable. Resilient. Worth listening to.

And the more evidence you collect, the quieter she gets.

Your inner critic isn’t bad, she’s just outdated.

She’s running on old fears, old stories, old insecurities.
But you? You’re growing. You’re evolving. And you get to rewrite the narrative.

So the next time she tries to talk you out of your own potential, take a deep breath and remember:

She’s loud, but you’re louder.

You’ve got this.
Even if your inner hater disagrees.