When the Holidays Feel Unsettling: Why Time Off Can Feel Harder Than Work

The holiday season is supposed to feel magical, cozy lights, extra time, maybe even a little rest. But for many people, the reality is different: instead of feeling relaxed, they wake up each day agitated, restless, or uneasy. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone, and there’s a reason behind it.

When we spend months working long hours, our days are structured. We wake up with purpose, deadlines guide our time, and constant tasks keep our minds engaged. Work doesn’t just occupy our hours, it scaffolds our nervous system, giving it signals of predictability and control.

When that structure disappears suddenly, our bodies often respond with discomfort. The rest and freedom we’ve been longing for can feel unfamiliar, even threatening. The brain, used to constant stimulation, suddenly has too much space. That unease creeping in during holidays is often your nervous system trying to adjust.

The Hidden Pressure of “Free Time”

Having extra time can feel wonderful… and overwhelming. People often expect that with more time, they should feel happier, more productive, or more fulfilled. When reality doesn’t match those expectations, feelings of guilt, frustration, or restlessness can arise.

Even enjoyable goals, like building a personal project or exploring a hobby, can feel heavier when your mind and body are still recovering from a long period of work. Your system isn’t ready for full-speed creativity yet, it’s asking for decompression first.

Even if you enjoy your own company, holidays can make isolation more noticeable. Quiet days without the usual work interactions or social cues can amplify anxious thoughts or feelings of disconnection. Many people find themselves restless not because something is “wrong,” but simply because there’s a lack of small human touchpoints that regulate mood and energy.

How to Navigate This Unease:

1. Introduce gentle structure.
   Even loose anchors, a morning walk, a cooking ritual, or a set bedtime, give your nervous system signals of safety. You don’t need a packed schedule, just predictable touchpoints in your day.
2. Delay big decisions and projects.
   Creativity and motivation often return once your mind and body have fully recovered. Give yourself permission to pause before launching into new goals.
3. Focus on small grounding activities.
   Simple routines like journaling, stretching, or taking a short walk outside can help settle restlessness and release tension.
4. Seek micro-connections.
   You don’t need a party to feel connected, a friendly chat, a café visit, or a podcast with a relatable voice can help combat loneliness and provide a sense of presence.
5. Reframe expectations.
   This period doesn’t have to be “magical” or “productive.” Think of it as a decompression phase, a time to recalibrate, reset, and integrate the year that just passed.

Feeling unsettled during holidays isn’t unusual, it’s often a sign that your body and mind are finally getting a chance to pause and process. With small rituals, gentle structure, and patience, this uneasy phase can naturally shift into calm, clarity, and renewed energy for the new year.

The holidays can be a time of rest, not just celebration. And sometimes, just giving yourself permission to simply exist, without pressure, without expectations, is the best gift you can give your nervous system.