the ward method

Author: kelly ann ward

  • Learning to love the in-between.

    Learning to love the in-between.

    There’s this weird space you land in after a long-term relationship ends.

    You’re not who you used to be.
    You’re not quite who you’re becoming.
    And honestly? It’s awkward. Uncomfortable. Quiet in a way that sometimes feels deafening.

    After a breakup, especially one that took up years of your life, it’s easy to feel like you’ve lost your person and your place. Your routines change. Your weekends feel empty. Your phone is quieter. Your bed feels too big.

    But I’m learning that this space, the space between where I’ve been and where I’m going, matters.

    It’s where the healing lives.
    It’s where the growth begins.
    It’s where you meet yourself again.

    There are days it feels lonely, yes. But being alone doesn’t mean you’re failing. It doesn’t mean you’re unwanted. It means you’re finally choosing yourself, maybe for the first time in a long time.

    And that’s brave as hell.

    I’ve had to remind myself that I don’t need to rush into something new just to avoid the discomfort.
    I don’t need to fill every silence.
    I don’t need to be “over it” in 30 days or less.

    Some mornings I wake up and feel peace for the first time in months. Other days, I want to text them just to feel a little less distant from what I lost. Both realities are valid. Healing isn’t linear.

    What’s helping me now is learning to enjoy the in-between.

    Taking myself out for coffee.
    Going to the beach with no one to impress.
    Laying in bed with my digital camera beside me, my favorite playlist on, and no plans.
    Making space for the quiet, even if it feels awkward.
    Letting this season soften me instead of harden me.

    Because one day, this version of me, the one that’s growing in solitude, figuring it out alone, will be the version I thank.

    So if you’re in the in-between too, take a breath. You’re not behind.
    You’re not broken.
    You’re just rebuilding.

    And maybe this chapter, as uncomfortable as it is, will be the one that finally brings you home to yourself.

  • I’m over living for the internet.

    I’m over living for the internet.

    I’m tired.
    Tired of trying to live up to every expectation I see online.
    Tired of measuring my worth based on how “put together” I look.
    Tired of chasing a version of perfection that doesn’t even feel real.

    At some point, I had to stop and ask myself:
    Who am I trying to impress? And at what cost?

    Because constantly trying to be the most flawless version of myself—physically, emotionally, aesthetically, is exhausting.
    And no matter how much effort I put in, it never actually feels like enough or like me.

    I’ve realized that this need to be “perfect and appealing” to the male gaze all the time. It’s not really worth it. Why would you want to look like everyone else?


    It’s been subconsciously forced to us through filtered highlight reels, impossible beauty trends, and the subtle (or not-so-subtle) messaging that we are:
    Not polished enough.
    Not thin enough.
    Not cool enough.
    Not enough.

    But what if we just let that go?

    What if instead of chasing perfection, we started chasing peace?
    Confidence that comes from within.
    The kind that isn’t dependent on validation, likes, or approval.

    I want to wake up and not immediately feel like I’m behind.
    I want to feel good in my own life, not just in curated, post-able moments.
    And most of all, I want to stop waiting to be some perfect version of myself before I start living fully.

    You can still take care of yourself.
    You can still want to grow and glow and become your best self.
    But you don’t have to hate yourself along the way.
    And you don’t have to become someone you’re not just to feel worthy.

    So no, I’m not chasing “perfect” anymore.
    I’m choosing to be real.
    Messy.
    Honest.
    And enough as I am.

    Because once you stop performing for the world and start showing up for yourself, everything changes.

  • Business is the ultimate sport (and women are winning)

    Business is the ultimate sport (and women are winning)

    In 2019, I launched my first brand—WardFit. A sustainable clothing line made locally in Cape Town, with a mission to create comfy, feel-good pieces for everyday people. I was 24, wildly optimistic, and probably a little too generous with freebies (rookie mistake). But that little brand? It taught me everything.

    Business is the ultimate sport. It’s strategy, grit, vision, resilience. You learn how to take rejection on the chin and keep showing up anyway. You learn that branding isn’t just about pretty colors or fonts, it’s storytelling, connection, psychology. You realize that clarity > complexity every single time. You figure out that energy matters, people buy into people. And you learn the hard way that not everyone deserves a discount.

    I’ve always been drawn to business, probably because I grew up watching my dad build his own and work hard everyday. Seeing him work for himself, take risks, and create something from the ground up planted that seed in me early. It showed me that being your own boss isn’t just a title, it’s a lifestyle. One that requires hard work, a strong mindset, vision, belief in yourself and the kind of persistence that doesn’t quit when things get hard.

    Starting WardFit sparked something in me. I didn’t go to business school. I didn’t have a huge budget or a big team. But I had passion, and that was enough to start. That was enough to figure it out as I went. And it showed me that if you care about something, if you have a vision, you can build something real from the ground up.

    And now? Women are everywhere in the business and branding space. We’re launching our own companies, redefining leadership, telling our stories out loud, and doing it in a way that feels authentic. It’s not about playing the game the way it’s always been played, it’s about rewriting the rules.

    We’re not just making noise, we’re building empires. We’re running creative agencies, product lines, communities, and digital platforms from our laptops and living rooms. We’re the face of the brand and the strategy behind it. And we’re doing it with empathy, intuition, and killer instincts.

    Here’s what I know:
    If you’re passionate about something, go for it.
    You don’t need permission.
    You don’t need to have it all figured out.
    You will make mistakes, fail, and that’s the point.
    Just start.

    Because the moment you do?
    You realize who you really are.

    And spoiler alert:
    She’s a badass.

  • Write it down. Show up. Watch it happen.

    Write it down. Show up. Watch it happen.

    If you’re not manifesting your hopes & dreams… then what are you even doing?

    Let’s be real: life is short, the internet is loud, and it’s way too easy to get caught up in scrolling through everyone else’s highlight reel. But here’s the thing I’ve been learning lately, if you’re not putting energy into your own dreams… then who will?

    Manifesting isn’t just about lighting a candle and hoping the universe drops your dream life at your front door like an Amazon package. It’s about getting clear, showing up, and deciding that your life is worth building, on purpose.

    So… what even is manifesting?

    It’s not just woo-woo Pinterest quotes or vision boards (although, I love both). It’s the idea that your thoughts, energy, and actions matter. That the more you focus on what you want, the more likely you are to take the steps that make it happen.

    And yes, that’s backed by psychology. When you write down your goals and revisit them often, you’re literally training your brain to seek out opportunities, patterns, and paths that align with that reality. That’s powerful.

    Decide what you want.

    Not what your boyfriend wants. Not what your best friend is doing. Not what looks cool on social media. What you want. Be specific. Be honest. Be delusional, even. Your dream life doesn’t need to make sense to anyone else.

    Write it down.

    Put it in your notes app, journal it, scribble it on a mirror. When you write it down, it becomes real. It leaves your head and lands in your reality.

    Make a plan.

    Small, simple, consistent actions. That’s where the magic happens. You don’t need to have it all figured out, just decide what the next right step is and do that. Then another. Then another.

    Work on it every day.

    Even if it’s five minutes. Even if it’s just visualizing it. Even if it’s just choosing to believe it’s possible. Your dream life isn’t built overnight, it’s built in the quiet, daily moments when you show up for yourself.

    The truth is: you can manifest anything, but you have to mean it

    You’ve got to want it more than you want to stay comfortable. You’ve got to be willing to fail, to start over, to do the work no one sees. But you also get to feel the joy, the excitement, and the momentum that comes with knowing you’re co-creating your own life.

    So… if you’ve been waiting for a sign to get clear, get serious, and get back to chasing your wildest dreams?

    This is it.

    Write the thing. Say it out loud. See it happening. And then? Start acting like the person who already has it.

    Because honestly? That version of you is already within reach.

  • “I need a break from my phone” – me, five hours after scrolling non-stop

    “I need a break from my phone” – me, five hours after scrolling non-stop

    Lately, I’ve caught myself doing that thing where you open Instagram, close it… then open it again three seconds later. It’s not even conscious at this point, it’s autopilot. Like muscle memory, but with slightly more existential dread.

    The truth is: I love my screen (but at the same time I don’t). It keeps me connected, entertained, inspired, and occasionally gives me the serotonin hit I didn’t know I needed (hi, funny Tana Mongeau videos). But I’ve also noticed the flip side. The overstimulation. The headaches. The constant comparison trap. And that weird foggy feeling that creeps in when I’ve been staring at a screen for too long.

    So, I took a break.

    I’ve been off Instagram for almost a month now, and honestly? I feel way more present. Like I can hear myself think again. Like I’m actually in my life, not just watching it unfold through stories or comparing it to someone else’s highlight reel.

    So, how can we be a little more mindful with our screen time?

    Here are a few things that have actually helped me stop spiraling into the digital void:

    1. Create screen ‘windows’

    Instead of being on all the time, I’ve started scheduling windows for checking social apps, so once in the morning (after journaling, if I’m feeling like that girl), once around lunch, and then again in the evening. Giving myself clear times makes it feel like a choice, not a compulsion.

    2. Set time limits (and stick to them)

    I used to think app timers were unnecessary…until I realized I was spending four hours a day on YouTube. Now, I set a 30-minute limit on my most-used apps. Sure, I sometimes hit “Ignore for 15 more minutes,” but hey, progress, not perfection.

    3. Power down before bed

    This one changed my sleep game. Shutting down electronics two hours before bedtime has helped my brain actually wind down. When I can’t resist some sort of media, I’ll switch to music, a podcast, or an audiobook, something that doesn’t require my eyes to be glued to a screen. It’s way gentler on the brain and honestly, my dreams are better too.

    So what’s the deal with screens + mental health?

    Too much screen time, especially without breaks, can impact our brains. Constant stimulation trains our brains to seek dopamine hits fast (scroll, like, scroll again), which makes it harder to focus, feel grounded, or even enjoy the little things IRL.

    Studies have also shown that excessive screen use can mess with our sleep cycles, increase anxiety, and mess with our attention span. And if you’re already feeling emotionally off? The constant stream of curated content can feel more like a punch in the gut than an escape.

    It’s not about quitting your phone, it’s about checking in with how you’re using it

    I still love my phone. I still make aesthetic Pinterest boards, scroll on YouTube shorts, and send memes occasionally at midnight. But I also give myself permission to disconnect. To sit in silence. To be a little bored.

    Because sometimes the real magic happens off screen, when you’re sitting at the beach, taking a walk, or just breathing for a second without a notification pulling you back in.

    So if you needed a sign to log off and go touch some grass? This is it.

  • This is why you spiral when they don’t text back.

    This is why you spiral when they don’t text back.

    Omg, once I learned about attachment styles, suddenly, things started to make sense.

    Avoidant attachment: “I don’t need anyone.”

    For a long time, I leaned heavily avoidant. I wore independence like a badge of honour. I prided myself on not needing anyone. I called it self-sufficiency, but deep down, it was fear.

    When you grow up believing that vulnerability leads to disappointment, you start to protect yourself from getting close at all. I avoided intimacy not because I didn’t want it, but because I didn’t trust it. There was a belief that people would eventually let me down, so I always pulled away. I’d convince myself I was better off alone. But it wasn’t true, I was just scared.

    I started to gently question that fear.
    What am I actually afraid will happen if I let someone in?
    Have I been hurt before? (Yes.)
    Can I survive it if it happens again? (Also yes.)

    Disappointment is part of being human. No one can meet all of our needs 100% of the time, and that’s not a failure. That’s reality. What matters is whether we feel safe enough to talk about it. To say, “Hey, I’m scared to get close. But I’m trying.”

    Anxious attachment: “Do they even like me?”

    At other points in my life, I swung to the opposite side. I became hyper-aware of how people showed up (or didn’t) in my life. If someone didn’t invite me to something or took too long to reply, it’d send me into a spiral: Are they mad at me? Did I do something wrong? Are they pulling away? Do they not like me?

    It was exhausting. For them and for me.

    But learning about anxious attachment helped me soften that voice in my head. Now, I pause and ask:
    “Is this about them, or is this about my fear of abandonment?”
    I remind myself that someone doing their own thing doesn’t mean they don’t love me. People have lives. That’s not rejection, it’s reality.

    And when those anxious feelings pop up, I don’t shame myself anymore. I listen. I get curious. I ask what I need to feel safe, and then I communicate it.

    Secure attachment: “We’re good, even if we’re not together 24/7.”

    This is the sweet spot. The balance. I’ve been working toward this for a while. Secure attachment doesn’t mean you never get triggered, it means you know how to navigate it. You know how to trust people without losing yourself. You know how to express your needs without shame.

    And most importantly? You understand that not everyone you’re in a relationship with will have the same attachment style as you, and that’s okay. The goal isn’t perfection. It’s awareness. Compassion. Communication.

    Healing your attachment style isn’t about fixing yourself, it’s about understanding yourself. And the more you do, the easier it becomes to show up in relationships with honesty, clarity, and softness. You don’t have to figure it all out overnight. Just start by asking questions. Stay curious. And remind yourself that you are worthy of love that feels safe and real.

    Because you are.

  • It’s okay if not everyone gets you.

    It’s okay if not everyone gets you.

    I used to be a huge people pleaser. The kind that would overthink a text, a caption, a random conversation from three days ago. I wanted to be liked, understood, seen as “chill” or “easygoing,” even when I was internally spiraling. And honestly? Sometimes, I still catch myself doing it. Old habits have a way of hanging around. But lately, I’ve been choosing something different, choosing me.

    Because here’s the thing: judgment is inevitable. No matter how “perfectly” you try to show up, someone will still have an opinion. And spending your life trying to edit yourself into the version that everyone else is comfortable with? Exhausting. Unfulfilling. Kind of soul-sucking, if we’re being real.

    I’ve realized that the more I try to shrink myself to fit in, the more I start to feel like a stranger in my own life.

    The truth is, the moment you start doing things for you, saying what you actually feel, wearing what makes you happy, chasing the dreams that light you up, there will be people who don’t get it. Who roll their eyes. Who lowkey judge from the sidelines.

    But there will also be people who do get it. Who see your magic and meet you where you are, because you had the courage to be real. And honestly? That kind of connection is so much better than surface-level approval from everyone.

    I still have days where I question myself. Where I feel a little too “out there” or too emotional or too whatever. But I remind myself that I’m not here to be liked by everyone, I’m here to live a life that feels true. That feels mine.

    So if you’re in a season where you feel a little lost, or you’re stepping into a more authentic version of yourself and it’s kinda terrifying… I see you. It’s okay to disappear until you feel like you again. It’s okay to not have it all figured out. And it’s more than okay to take up space in your own life.

    You don’t have to prove anything. You just have to be real.

    The moment you want to quit? That’s exactly when you should keep going.

    And if you ever needed a sign to be a little louder, a little braver, a little more you… this is it.

  • Matcha > My 4 cups of coffee (Yes, I said it)

    Matcha > My 4 cups of coffee (Yes, I said it)

    I never thought I’d say this… but I’ve been drinking more matcha than coffee lately. And not just in a “let’s romanticize my morning routine” kind of way, though, yes, the aesthetic does go crazy with an iced oat milk matcha in hand.

    It started because I wanted to feel less like I was spiraling through space by 11am. You know that wired-but-exhausted feeling you get after your third (okay, fourth) cup of coffee? I was tired of the crash. Tired of feeling like my brain was glitching out by mid-afternoon. So I gave matcha a real shot, and wow, life’s been kind of better since.

    Here’s why I’m fully on board the matcha train now:

    The energy hits different

    Matcha gives you this calm, focused energy that doesn’t spike or crash. Thanks to L-theanine (a fancy amino acid that promotes relaxation without making you sleepy), matcha lets you actually focus without feeling like your heart’s trying to escape your chest. It’s like coffee’s cooler, more emotionally regulated cousin.

    Antioxidants? Yes please

    Matcha is loaded with antioxidants, specifically catechins (like EGCG), which help fight inflammation, support your immune system, and do all sorts of behind-the-scenes health magic. Basically, it’s giving wellness glow-up from the inside out.

    Good for your skin + digestion

    Since switching things up, my skin’s looked a little less dull and my gut’s been happier. Matcha helps support your liver (which = detox) and your metabolism. It’s not a miracle drink, but it’s definitely giving main character energy.

    It slows me down, in the best way

    There’s something ritualistic about making matcha. The whisking, the pouring, the sipping, it’s like built-in mindfulness. And for someone who used to inhale three coffees before 9am, that pause has been everything. It’s not just about the caffeine, it’s the vibe. The moment. The breath.

    So no, I haven’t completely broken up with coffee (don’t panic, we’re just seeing other people). But I am choosing what supports me better right now, and matcha’s doing the job, with style.

    If you’ve been curious, take this as your sign. Try it iced, try it hot, try it with vanilla oat milk and a little honey. Romanticize it. Sip slow. And feel the shift.

    Matcha girl era? Activated.

  • How to think, feel, live better.

    How to think, feel, live better.

    Lately I’ve been trying this wild concept called… being nice to my brain.

    Not in a “toxic positivity, everything’s fine” kind of way. More like rewiring the way I think so I don’t spiral every time my to-do list looks like a pharmacy receipt.

    It’s honestly not that deep, just small shifts that help me feel more grounded, more grateful, more me. And if you’ve been feeling a little all over the place too, here’s your gentle reminder that your brain’s not broken. It just needs a little love (and maybe a deep breath).

    So if you’re tired of thinking the same negative thoughts on repeat (hi, overthinking besties), it’s time to do a little rewiring.

    And no, you don’t need to move to Bali, delete all your apps, or become a full-time monk. Just try this:

    Be obsessed with gratitude (like, in a cute way)
    Start and end your day by listing three things you’re grateful for. Yes, even if the only thing you can think of is “iced coffee” or “my hoodie.” It counts.
    Why it works: You’re literally training your brain to search for the good. Over time, you’ll start noticing more small wins, more beauty, more you got this moments.

    Tell your negative thoughts to chill
    Your brain: “Everything is terrible and you’re definitely failing.”
    You: “Whoa there. Is that even true?”
    This is your cue to hit pause mid-doom spiral and flip the script. Instead of “I’m so behind,” try “I’m doing the best I can, and that’s enough today.”
    Mental gymnastics? Kind of. Worth it? Always.

    Just breathe (literally)
    Sit. Breathe. For five whole minutes.
    Put your phone down, close your eyes, and just… exist.
    This tiny habit doesn’t just calm your nervous system, it helps you move through the day with more ease. More clarity. Less reacting, more responding.

    Here’s the vibe:
    You don’t have to “fix” yourself. You’re not broken. But you can choose to create better thought habits, feel better in your body, and live from a place of peace instead of panic.

    It’s all tiny shifts. Gratitude. A breath. A thought flipped.
    Over time, it adds up. And suddenly, you’re the calm one. The grounded one. The one who glows from the inside out.

    Let’s romanticize that.

  • Crying in the car counts as self-care, right?

    Crying in the car counts as self-care, right?

    I’ve been known (by myself) to cope with a bad week by blasting Justin Bieber’s Journals and crying in my car like I’m the main character of a very dramatic indie film that got bad reviews but still has a cult following.

    And honestly? 10/10 recommend.

    Some people vent to their friends. Some people go for a run. Me? I put on a hoodie, throw on sunglasses (even if it’s cloudy), and sip my iced coffee like it’s a prescription. That’s my emotional support beverage, your honour. The Vida barista doesn’t know she’s part of my healing journey, but she is.

    Humour has always been my favourite coping tool. If I can laugh about it, even a little, it doesn’t feel quite as heavy. I’ll lay on the couch and watch an Adam Sandler movie (highly recommend), or turn a full-on meltdown into a funny story I tell my podcast listeners. It’s not about ignoring how I feel, it’s about softening the edges. Giving myself a way to breathe through the mess. Sometimes you’ve got to make the mental breakdown artsy.

    Here are a few very real, very unhinged ways I romanticize a bad week:

    • Wearing an oversized hoodie, cycle shorts and pairing it with my reading glasses like I’m in hiding from the paparazzi (even though I’m just avoiding small talk at the grocery store).
    • Driving down to the beach with my digital camera and Kelsea Ballerini on repeat like I’m filming a breakup montage, except the only person I’m breaking up with is burnout.
    • Sitting in my car, seat fully reclined, watching the waves and pretending the ocean is giving me a TED Talk about how everything is going to be okay.
    • Ordering pizza for one, pouring a glass of red wine and telling myself I’m on a solo date.
    • Crying dramatically in the shower with Charli XCX playing. Peak cinema.

    The truth is: life gets weird. Days get hard. But finding little ways to comfort myself, to laugh, to feel cozy, to make it all feel a little softer? That’s become one of the kindest things I do for me.

    So if your week’s been trash and you just feel over it, here’s your reminder: your healing can be messy, funny, dramatic, and full of iced coffee. That doesn’t make it any less valid. You’re still growing. Still trying. Still doing your best.

    And if you need me, I’ll be parked by the beach, blasting sad songs and pretending the sunset is clapping for me.