the ward method

Tag: friends

  • Female friendships in adulthood.

    Female friendships in adulthood.

    Adulting is hard. Between careers, relationships, self-care routines, and everything else, keeping friendships alive can sometimes feel like a full-time job, and honestly, it kind of is. But healthy female friendships? They’re everything. They’re the tribe that holds you up, makes you laugh when you want to cry, and reminds you that you’re never really alone.

    Here’s the truth: maintaining friendships as adults isn’t about constant texts or weekly hangouts. It’s about quality over quantity, real connection over surface-level “likes,” and showing up in ways that matter.

    Here’s how I keep my friendships healthy, honest, and meaningful, even when life gets chaotic:

    1. Make Intentional Time (Even if It’s Small)

    Life gets busy, and “catching up” can sometimes mean a quick text or a 20-minute phone call. That’s okay. The key is being intentional. Schedule those little moments, even if it’s just grabbing coffee or sending a thoughtful message, to remind your friends they matter. Quality beats quantity every time.

    2. Be Real, Always

    Adult friendships thrive on authenticity. That means showing up with your messy, imperfect self. Share your wins, your struggles, your bad days, and your good ones. Vulnerability deepens connections and builds trust, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.

    3. Respect Boundaries

    Everyone’s energy ebbs and flows. Sometimes your friend needs space, and that’s okay. Respecting boundaries, whether it’s around time, topics, or emotional capacity, keeps friendships sustainable and loving, rather than draining.

    4. Celebrate Each Other’s Growth

    Adult friendships evolve as we do. Instead of comparing where you each “should” be, celebrate the different paths and milestones. Whether it’s a new job, a tough decision, or a mental health breakthrough, being your friend’s biggest cheerleader is a superpower.

    5. Let Go of Guilt

    Maybe you missed a call, canceled plans, or haven’t spoken in a while. It happens. Let go of the guilt. True friendships survive silence, and sometimes life just takes over. What matters is the intention to reconnect and keep showing up when you can.

    6. Have Fun, No Pressure

    Friendships don’t always have to be deep conversations or emotional support. Sometimes, the best moments come from doing nothing serious, laughing over bad movies, crazy exes, dancing in the kitchen, or sending memes that make no sense.

    Friendships in adulthood aren’t perfect, but they’re worth the effort. They remind us who we are beyond the hustle, anchor us when things feel heavy, and bring joy when we least expect it.

    If you’re feeling disconnected, don’t overthink it, just reach out, be honest, and remember that real friendships aren’t about always being present, but about being present enough for each other.

    Because at the end of the day, it’s those bonds that keep us sane, inspired, and whole.

  • How to maintain friendships as an adult.

    How to maintain friendships as an adult.

    This morning, I had coffee with one of my good girlfriends. We hadn’t seen each other in almost two months. Life, as always, got in the way. Work, schedules that never seem to line up. But sitting there, catching up over cappuccinos and just unpacking life, it reminded me just how grounding and healing good friendships are, and how important it is to water them, even when you feel like you’re running on 5 expressos and delusional happiness.

    I used to think friendships just happened. That if you were close with someone, it would always stay that way. But now that I’m older, I know that’s not true. Friendships, especially in adulthood, take effort, the kind that’s soft but intentional. So I’ve been thinking a lot about how to maintain the ones that matter, even when life feels chaotic.

    Here’s what I’ve learned:

    1. Stay connected regularly (in the realest way).

    Not every check-in needs to be a 3-hour FaceTime with wine and a therapy session. Sometimes it’s just sending a “this reminded me of you” meme, a voice note on the way to work, or a quick text that says, “Miss you. Let’s catch up soon.” It doesn’t have to be big to mean something.

    2. Send small, thoughtful gestures.

    The older I get, the more I love the random little things, like dropping off someone’s favorite treat or writing a positive text just because. It’s about showing you see them. That they’re on your mind. That they matter.

    3. Share your changes.

    We’re all growing and shifting. If you want your friends to understand where you’re at, you’ve got to let them in. Tell them what’s been heavy lately. What you’re excited about. What you’ve outgrown. Relationships lose their depth when we assume people just know who we are without updating them.

    4. Practice safe vulnerability.

    Not everyone deserves full access to you, but your real ones? Let them in. Let them hear the overthinking, the insecurity, the mess, the joy. Real intimacy starts when you drop the façade and get a little honest.

    5. Manage expectations.

    No one person can be everything to you, and that includes your friends. Some will be your hype girls, some your deep-convo girls, some your brunch-once-a-month girls. That’s okay. Let them show up in the way they can, and love them for it.

    Lately, I’ve realized that friendships are just as important as romantic relationships. Maybe even more, at times. They’re the people who witness you becoming yourself. Who sit with you in silence when you can’t find the words. Who send “I’m proud of you” texts after something big (or small).

    If you’re reading this and you’ve been “meaning to reach out” to someone, this is your sign. Call them. Send the text. Make the plan. Because life moves fast, but a good friend will always slow down for a coffee and a catch-up.