the ward method

Tag: love

  • Why you shouldn’t take yourself so seriously.

    Why you shouldn’t take yourself so seriously.

    Let me just start by saying: I used to be that person, the one who agonized over every little thing, trying to get life exactly right. Like, if I didn’t have my act perfectly together, I felt like a total failure. And honestly? That was exhausting.

    I think we all get caught up in this trap sometimes, thinking we have to be perfect, or at least look like we do. We want to appear put-together, confident, and in control, even when inside we’re scrambling and second-guessing ourselves.

    But here’s the thing: life isn’t some rigid checklist or Instagram highlight reel. It’s messy, unpredictable, and often downright ridiculous. So why am I spending so much time trying to be serious and “on” all the time?

    That’s when I realized, I needed to lighten up.

    Taking myself less seriously didn’t mean I stopped caring. It just meant I stopped giving my worries and mistakes so much power. Instead of freaking out about every slip-up, I started laughing at them. Instead of overthinking every conversation, I reminded myself that nobody’s keeping a scorecard.

    And you know what? It felt like a breath of fresh air.

    When I stopped obsessing over perfection, I actually became more present. I enjoyed the little moments that would have otherwise passed me by while I was busy stressing. I felt freer to be myself, flaws and all.

    So if you’re anything like me, constantly stuck in your head and taking life a little too seriously, here’s my two cents: try giving yourself a break. Laugh at your awkward moments. Embrace the chaos. Remember that it’s okay to mess up and not have all the answers.

    Life’s too short to be serious all the time, and honestly, it’s way more fun when you don’t take yourself too seriously.

    Let’s make room for more joy, silliness, and realness in this wild ride we call life.

  • No one’s you, and that’s your power(a gentle reminder in a world that keeps trying to shape you)

    No one’s you, and that’s your power(a gentle reminder in a world that keeps trying to shape you)

    There’s this line from On the Road that always hits me in the gut:
    “There was nowhere to go but everywhere, so just keep on rolling under the stars.”

    That kind of wild, free, unfiltered energy, it makes you want to exhale. Makes you want to grab your keys, leave your phone behind, and just drive with the windows down. Because when the world feels heavy, loud, and a little too curated, that’s what we crave. Realness. Stillness. Ourselves.

    But it’s hard, right? To be yourself when everyone and everything is trying to sell you someone else.

    Scroll through your feed and you’re told to be softer but more productive. Thinner but body positive. Confident but not too loud. Authentic but also aesthetically on brand.

    It’s a lot.

    And somewhere between overthinking captions and questioning your path, you can forget who you were before the noise.

    So here’s your reminder, from one soul to another:

    You were never meant to fit.

    You weren’t born to be digestible. To shrink into a category. To shape-shift for likes, for approval, for peacekeeping.

    You were made to take up space. To feel deeply. To cry in public if you need to. To laugh hard at the wrong time. To wear the outfit you love even if it doesn’t make sense to anyone else.

    You were made to make people feel something. Not everyone will like that. But not everyone was meant to be your people.

    You don’t need to have a 5-year plan.

    You just need to have a pulse and a passion and a little bit of faith that if you keep showing up as you, life will meet you where you are. Not where you’re pretending to be.

    We live in a world obsessed with productivity, perfection, and performance. But the best parts of life, the real, electric, human stuff, they don’t live on to-do lists.

    They live in the in-between. In the weird voice you use when you talk to your dog. In the way you sing when you drive alone. In the messy notes app ideas that make no sense but still feel like magic.

    That’s where you live. That’s where your art is.

    When in doubt, choose soul over strategy.

    Because when you show up as the most you version of you, even if it’s not trending, even if it’s not polished, that’s when life starts to feel real again.

    Your presence doesn’t need a filter. Your thoughts don’t need to be profound. You don’t need to say the “right” thing or follow the “right” path or make your parents proud with a job title that sounds important but feels soul-sucking.

    You just need to be you. In whatever version that looks like today.

    And no, not everyone will get it.

    But the right people will.

    They’ll be drawn to your spark. Your humanness. Your realness.

    Not the version you curated, but the version you allowed.

    So keep showing up in your way. In your time. With your truth.

    Make things that feel good. Say the weird thing in the meeting. Dance badly. Cry when you need to. Laugh too loud. Take breaks. Post the photo. Leave when it feels wrong. Stay when it feels right.

    And if you ever feel lost, like you’re floating and unsure, just look up.

    There’s nowhere to go but everywhere.

    So take a breath. Roll slow under the stars.
    And come back home to yourself.

  • Believe in your f*cking self (even when it’s hard)

    Believe in your f*cking self (even when it’s hard)

    I’ve wanted to give up more times than I can count.

    Not in a dramatic, “the world is ending” kind of way, but in that quiet, everyday way where you’re just tired. Of trying. Of pushing. Of feeling like nothing’s working. I’ve felt sorry for myself. I’ve let self-doubt spiral me into silence. I’ve told myself stories like “maybe I’m not cut out for this” or “maybe they’re right about me.”

    It’s so easy to let limiting beliefs win. To let other people’s opinions define how big you dream or how loud you speak. But here’s the truth I’ve had to learn (and keep relearning): you don’t get the life you want without believing that you can actually have it.

    Even on the days you feel like sh*t.
    Even when it’s easier to stay in bed.
    Even when you don’t feel “inspiring” at all.

    Believing in yourself is a daily choice, not a one-time decision. And some days, it’s really hard. But if you want the life you keep imagining in your head, you have to keep showing up for it, even when it’s uncomfortable.

    Here are two powerful, real-world ways I get myself into a better mindset when I want to quit:

    1. get brutally honest about the story you’re telling yourself
    When I’m in a rut, I write down what I think is true:
    → “No one cares about what I’m doing.”
    → “I’m behind.”
    → “I’m not good enough.”

    Then I ask myself: Is this helpful? Is this actually true? Or is this fear in a trench coat pretending to be logic?
    Most of the time, the story is BS. Once I call it out, I can rewrite it. Try it, it’s like a personal intervention on paper.

    2. move, even if it’s small
    I don’t mean run a 5k. I mean: get outside, clean your space, take a shower, make your favorite breakfast. Momentum matters. When I physically shift my environment or body, my mind usually follows.
    No, it doesn’t fix everything. But it reminds me that I’m not powerless. That I can create change, even if it starts small.

    Some days I still don’t want to get up. Some days I’m not the most confident version of myself. But I keep going. And you can too. Because life isn’t about being perfect, it’s about choosing not to give up on yourself, not letting other people bring you down, even when no one’s clapping, even when you’re not in the mood to be motivational.

    So yes, believe in your f*cking self.
    Especially when it’s hard.
    Especially when it’s quiet.
    Because that’s when it matters the most. Never give up. Period.

  • I hate change (but I hate being stuck more)

    I hate change (but I hate being stuck more)

    Letting go of a past relationship feels like being asked to erase a chapter of your life that still smells like your favourite candle and sounds like your shared playlist. It doesn’t matter if it ended amicably, messily, or somewhere in between, it still lingers. The what-ifs. The familiar routines. The comfort of knowing how someone takes their coffee or laughs at dumb memes.

    And if you’re anything like me, change isn’t something you run toward. It’s something that feels like it’s ripping the floor out from under you. I hate it. I really do. I hate the uncertainty, the silence after someone you used to text 20 times a day disappears, the “starting over” part. It’s exhausting. But what’s even harder? Staying stuck in something that no longer exists. Clinging to a version of life that isn’t real anymore.

    It’s okay to admit it hurts. It’s okay to admit you miss them. And it’s okay to take your time. But eventually, gently, you have to come back to yourself. To the version of you that existed before them. To the version that will exist after.

    Here are 3 healthy, realistic ways to start focusing on yourself post-breakup, no toxic positivity, no glow-up pressure, just you, healing:

    1. romanticize the little things.
    Make your morning coffee like it’s your love language. Go on walks like you’re the main character in an indie film. Light candles. Listen to sad music. Listen to happy music. Create an atmosphere in your day that makes you feel good, even if it’s small. You don’t need a full rebrand, you just need to start caring for yourself like someone you love.

    2. do something that requires your hands.
    Paint. Cook. Build something. Garden. Journal. Rearrange your room. There’s something healing about doing something physical that gets you out of your head and into the present. It won’t magically fix everything, but it’ll remind you that your life is still yours. That you can still create something out of the mess.

    3. reconnect with people who remind you who you are.
    Not people who want to talk about your ex for hours, but the ones who make you laugh really hard, who text you to go to a random coffee shop on a Sunday, who make you feel like yourself again. Healing isn’t about isolation. It’s about choosing better connection.

    4. go blonde (I might be kidding)
    Sometimes, healing starts with bleach. Or bangs. Or a bob. Changing your hair doesn’t solve everything, but it can give you that subtle “I’m back, and I don’t care” kind of energy. It’s symbolic. It’s fun. It reminds you that you’re in control, and that you’re allowed to reinvent yourself as many times as you want.

    Change sucks sometimes. It’s hard. It’s messy. And if you hate change, like I do, every part of it might feel like a fight. But you deserve a life that feels like yours again. One where you don’t have to pretend to be over it, but where, one day, you’ll notice that you kind of are.

  • The concept of escapism.

    The concept of escapism.

    In my early 20s, escapism looked like late nights, glittery eyeshadow, vodka with ice, bad decisions, and dancing until my shoes gave out. I loved it, probably a little too much. I’d romanticize those neon-lit hours where nothing mattered except the music and whoever you were clumsily making eye contact with across the room. Then I got into my first real relationship, and surprise, we both loved the nightlife. It became our thing. Our escape. Our reckless little corner of freedom from the “real world.”

    And honestly? Those were some of the best times of my life.

    But I think the version of escapism we crave evolves as we do. I’ve outgrown the hangovers, but I still chase that feeling, freedom, disconnection, presence. Just… now it looks a little different.

    Now it’s relaxing with a good book and letting someone else’s story carry me away. It’s listening to a podcast that actually makes me think (or laugh at something completely unhinged Theo Von says). It’s long drives to the beach with Blink-182 or Charli XCX blasting, windows down, mind quiet. It’s laying on the couch on a Sunday afternoon, watching the light shift across the room, and letting that be enough.

    Escapism isn’t about avoidance, it’s about release. And the healthier it becomes, the more grounded we feel coming back to ourselves.

    Here are 2 ways I’ve found that actually help when life gets too loud:

    1. Creative expression.
    Write something. Paint something. Doodle like you’re 10 again. It doesn’t have to be good, honestly, it probably shouldn’t be. Just let your brain play. There’s something magical about making something that doesn’t need to mean anything.

    2. Intentional silence.
    Put your phone away. Don’t even reach for it. Go sit outside. Take a walk. Lay on your bed with a cup of tea and stare at the ceiling. Silence is awkward at first, but it teaches you how to just be. And that’s a skill a lot of us forgot we needed.

    Because sometimes escaping isn’t about running away, it’s about running toward yourself.

  • Make your own money & marry someone funny

    Make your own money & marry someone funny

    I saw this quote on Pinterest the other day that said: “make your own money and marry someone funny.” And honestly? I haven’t stopped thinking about it.

    It’s a little cheeky. It’s kind of genius. And it’s also, lowkey, painfully accurate.

    Because somewhere along the way, the whole “girl boss” thing went from empowering to being the internet’s favorite thing to roll its eyes at. But I’ve been thinking, what’s actually so wrong with being a woman who has goals? Who wants more? Who’s working on herself and her finances and her future?

    Like yes, I want inner peace, emotional regulation, and dewy skin… but I also want to build something of my own. Something that’s mine. I think a lot of us do.

    And sure, some people might say that ambition isn’t “feminine” or some men don’t like that or whatever. But respectfully… who cares? If a woman being self-sufficient and successful makes someone uncomfortable, that sounds like a personal problem. Not a her problem.

    Because what is feminine (and honestly, powerful) is knowing you can take care of yourself, emotionally and financially. It’s waking up and choosing to bet on yourself, whether that’s starting a business, freelancing, negotiating your salary, or just opening that investing app you’ve been avoiding. It’s knowing your worth and building a life you actually like.

    And when it comes to love? Let’s just say we’re not asking for yachts and Birkin bags (unless you want to, of course). We’re asking for emotional support, good laughs, and someone who doesn’t shrink at your success. Funny and kind goes a long way.

    So yes, maybe the “girl boss” era got a little cringe. But wanting to be a woman with her sh*t together? That’s never going out of style.

    Normalize the women making their own money. Normalize wanting more. And while we’re at it, normalize marrying someone who can actually make you laugh.

    We’re rewriting the rules. And I kind of love it here.

  • Everything I want wants me more.

    Everything I want wants me more.

    I used to worry way too much about how I came across online. Like, crippling self-awareness every time I posted something quirky or hit “publish” on a YouTube video that felt too unfiltered. I’d overthink the captions. I’d cringe at the sound of my own voice. I’d spiral thinking, what if someone from work sees this and laughs?

    But then I turned 30.

    And I don’t know what exactly shifted, but I stopped caring in a way that felt… freeing.

    Now? I post the weird little video. I write the blog. I say what I actually mean. I romanticize the chaos. I give things a go even if I know people might not get it. Because here’s the thing, every time I show up as the most me version of myself, life mirrors that energy back. Opportunities come. The right people show up. Confidence builds.

    I started to believe in this idea that the things I want, the career, the friendships, the love, the freedom, the creative expression, they actually want me more. And when you really think about it, that mindset changes everything.

    It turns your self-doubt into self-trust.

    It turns the “what if they judge me” into “what if this opens doors I can’t even imagine yet?”

    Because the truth is, the people who are doing cool things in life aren’t the ones who waited until they felt 100% ready or polished or perfect, they’re the ones who went for it even when it felt cringe.

    So I’m no longer subscribing to the idea that I need to shrink myself to be liked or palatable.

    I’m here to be real. To be bold. To post the vlog. To follow the vision I’ve had in my head since forever. And honestly? It feels so good.

    Let this be your reminder that you don’t need permission to want more.
    And you definitely don’t need to water yourself down to be worthy of it.

    So go after it, even if it’s messy, even if it’s loud, even if it’s different.

    Because what you want… is already on its way to meet you.
    And it’s probably cheering you on, waiting for you to stop caring what other people think.

  • Maybe slowing down isn’t what I actually want.

    Maybe slowing down isn’t what I actually want.

    An honest take on productivity, purpose, and why staying busy might just be your kind of peace.

    I used to think the goal was a quiet life.
    Slow mornings. Simple pleasures. Peaceful days that stretch out like soft sunlight on the floor.
    And honestly? That still sounds beautiful.

    There’s something deeply romantic about living gently, taking time to appreciate the little things, drinking your coffee slowly, reading books in the afternoon, and going on long walks with no rush to be anywhere. And I think it’s important to have those moments. To know how to rest. To let yourself rest.

    But I’ve also come to a conclusion lately, which is, of course, subject to change because I’m human, but I don’t think that kind of slowness is what I truly want all the time.

    Because I know myself. And the truth is… I like being busy.
    I need to be building something. Doing something. Pouring myself into work or a project or an idea I care about.
    Being productive doesn’t drain me, it energizes me. It clears my mind. It gives me purpose.

    When I’m working on something I love, or even just having a full, busy day, I feel good.
    I feel like me.
    I’m not stuck overthinking or getting caught in a spiral about the past or what could’ve been.
    I’m moving forward. I’m in motion. And there’s something healing about that.

    I think we sometimes forget that being “busy” doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
    Sure, if you’re running on 5 cups of coffee 24/7 and never giving yourself a break, that’s a different story. But when you’re doing things that light you up? That challenge you? That make you feel capable and fulfilled? That’s not burnout, that’s fuel.

    Work, in the right context, keeps you young.
    It gives you something to wake up for. Something to grow towards.

    And of course, there are days when everything feels like too much. When the world is loud and heavy and you just want to rot on the couch with your comfort show and a snack, and that’s more than okay. We need those days too.
    But I don’t think I’m meant to live my life in slow motion. I think I’m meant to build.
    To do.
    To create.

    And maybe that’s your kind of peace too.

    So if you’ve been feeling guilty for loving the hustle, or if the idea of a “soft life” doesn’t totally resonate with you, you’re not broken.
    You’re probably just someone who finds calm in the chaos, clarity in the momentum.

    Keep showing up. Keep creating. Keep working on what makes you happy.
    Because that’s a life worth living, too.

  • I love Sunday’s omg.

    I love Sunday’s omg.

    I’ve always loved Sundays.

    Maybe it started when I was a kid, those sweet, simple Sundays with my family, getting ice-cream and going for long drives with the windows down and no real destination. It was the kind of day where nothing was rushed and everything just felt good. It’s funny how those small rituals become the ones you carry with you forever.

    Now that I’m older, Sundays still feel sacred. But they look a little different.

    They start with a yoga class in the morning, nothing crazy. Maybe I’ll grab a matcha or a smoothie afterwards, something that feels nourishing. And then, I head home, hop on the couch with a book, and just be for a while. No pressure. No notifications. Just sunshine pouring through the windows and a quiet blue sky above.

    It’s the kind of peace you can’t fake.

    Sometimes, I’ll throw on a face mask, scroll through Netflix until I land on some chaotic reality TV (you know the type), and let myself fully vibe out. Not because I’m avoiding the world, but because I need to check in with myself before stepping back into it.

    And that’s the thing. Alone time isn’t loneliness. It’s an act of care. A gentle pause. A reset.

    In a world that glorifies productivity, choosing to slow down, choosing yourself, is powerful. It’s not selfish. It’s essential.

    Because when we give ourselves space to rest, to breathe, to just exist without the pressure to perform…we come back stronger. Softer. More grounded. More ourselves.

    So if you’ve been craving some quiet, take it. Romanticize it. Protect it. Whether it’s a Sunday or a random Wednesday night, carve out time to just be with you.

    Trust me, you’re good company.

  • How to maintain friendships as an adult.

    How to maintain friendships as an adult.

    This morning, I had coffee with one of my good girlfriends. We hadn’t seen each other in almost two months. Life, as always, got in the way. Work, schedules that never seem to line up. But sitting there, catching up over cappuccinos and just unpacking life, it reminded me just how grounding and healing good friendships are, and how important it is to water them, even when you feel like you’re running on 5 expressos and delusional happiness.

    I used to think friendships just happened. That if you were close with someone, it would always stay that way. But now that I’m older, I know that’s not true. Friendships, especially in adulthood, take effort, the kind that’s soft but intentional. So I’ve been thinking a lot about how to maintain the ones that matter, even when life feels chaotic.

    Here’s what I’ve learned:

    1. Stay connected regularly (in the realest way).

    Not every check-in needs to be a 3-hour FaceTime with wine and a therapy session. Sometimes it’s just sending a “this reminded me of you” meme, a voice note on the way to work, or a quick text that says, “Miss you. Let’s catch up soon.” It doesn’t have to be big to mean something.

    2. Send small, thoughtful gestures.

    The older I get, the more I love the random little things, like dropping off someone’s favorite treat or writing a positive text just because. It’s about showing you see them. That they’re on your mind. That they matter.

    3. Share your changes.

    We’re all growing and shifting. If you want your friends to understand where you’re at, you’ve got to let them in. Tell them what’s been heavy lately. What you’re excited about. What you’ve outgrown. Relationships lose their depth when we assume people just know who we are without updating them.

    4. Practice safe vulnerability.

    Not everyone deserves full access to you, but your real ones? Let them in. Let them hear the overthinking, the insecurity, the mess, the joy. Real intimacy starts when you drop the façade and get a little honest.

    5. Manage expectations.

    No one person can be everything to you, and that includes your friends. Some will be your hype girls, some your deep-convo girls, some your brunch-once-a-month girls. That’s okay. Let them show up in the way they can, and love them for it.

    Lately, I’ve realized that friendships are just as important as romantic relationships. Maybe even more, at times. They’re the people who witness you becoming yourself. Who sit with you in silence when you can’t find the words. Who send “I’m proud of you” texts after something big (or small).

    If you’re reading this and you’ve been “meaning to reach out” to someone, this is your sign. Call them. Send the text. Make the plan. Because life moves fast, but a good friend will always slow down for a coffee and a catch-up.