the ward method

Tag: mental-health

  • This is why you spiral when they don’t text back.

    This is why you spiral when they don’t text back.

    Omg, once I learned about attachment styles, suddenly, things started to make sense.

    Avoidant attachment: “I don’t need anyone.”

    For a long time, I leaned heavily avoidant. I wore independence like a badge of honour. I prided myself on not needing anyone. I called it self-sufficiency, but deep down, it was fear.

    When you grow up believing that vulnerability leads to disappointment, you start to protect yourself from getting close at all. I avoided intimacy not because I didn’t want it, but because I didn’t trust it. There was a belief that people would eventually let me down, so I always pulled away. I’d convince myself I was better off alone. But it wasn’t true, I was just scared.

    I started to gently question that fear.
    What am I actually afraid will happen if I let someone in?
    Have I been hurt before? (Yes.)
    Can I survive it if it happens again? (Also yes.)

    Disappointment is part of being human. No one can meet all of our needs 100% of the time, and that’s not a failure. That’s reality. What matters is whether we feel safe enough to talk about it. To say, “Hey, I’m scared to get close. But I’m trying.”

    Anxious attachment: “Do they even like me?”

    At other points in my life, I swung to the opposite side. I became hyper-aware of how people showed up (or didn’t) in my life. If someone didn’t invite me to something or took too long to reply, it’d send me into a spiral: Are they mad at me? Did I do something wrong? Are they pulling away? Do they not like me?

    It was exhausting. For them and for me.

    But learning about anxious attachment helped me soften that voice in my head. Now, I pause and ask:
    “Is this about them, or is this about my fear of abandonment?”
    I remind myself that someone doing their own thing doesn’t mean they don’t love me. People have lives. That’s not rejection, it’s reality.

    And when those anxious feelings pop up, I don’t shame myself anymore. I listen. I get curious. I ask what I need to feel safe, and then I communicate it.

    Secure attachment: “We’re good, even if we’re not together 24/7.”

    This is the sweet spot. The balance. I’ve been working toward this for a while. Secure attachment doesn’t mean you never get triggered, it means you know how to navigate it. You know how to trust people without losing yourself. You know how to express your needs without shame.

    And most importantly? You understand that not everyone you’re in a relationship with will have the same attachment style as you, and that’s okay. The goal isn’t perfection. It’s awareness. Compassion. Communication.

    Healing your attachment style isn’t about fixing yourself, it’s about understanding yourself. And the more you do, the easier it becomes to show up in relationships with honesty, clarity, and softness. You don’t have to figure it all out overnight. Just start by asking questions. Stay curious. And remind yourself that you are worthy of love that feels safe and real.

    Because you are.

  • It’s okay if not everyone gets you.

    It’s okay if not everyone gets you.

    I used to be a huge people pleaser. The kind that would overthink a text, a caption, a random conversation from three days ago. I wanted to be liked, understood, seen as “chill” or “easygoing,” even when I was internally spiraling. And honestly? Sometimes, I still catch myself doing it. Old habits have a way of hanging around. But lately, I’ve been choosing something different, choosing me.

    Because here’s the thing: judgment is inevitable. No matter how “perfectly” you try to show up, someone will still have an opinion. And spending your life trying to edit yourself into the version that everyone else is comfortable with? Exhausting. Unfulfilling. Kind of soul-sucking, if we’re being real.

    I’ve realized that the more I try to shrink myself to fit in, the more I start to feel like a stranger in my own life.

    The truth is, the moment you start doing things for you, saying what you actually feel, wearing what makes you happy, chasing the dreams that light you up, there will be people who don’t get it. Who roll their eyes. Who lowkey judge from the sidelines.

    But there will also be people who do get it. Who see your magic and meet you where you are, because you had the courage to be real. And honestly? That kind of connection is so much better than surface-level approval from everyone.

    I still have days where I question myself. Where I feel a little too “out there” or too emotional or too whatever. But I remind myself that I’m not here to be liked by everyone, I’m here to live a life that feels true. That feels mine.

    So if you’re in a season where you feel a little lost, or you’re stepping into a more authentic version of yourself and it’s kinda terrifying… I see you. It’s okay to disappear until you feel like you again. It’s okay to not have it all figured out. And it’s more than okay to take up space in your own life.

    You don’t have to prove anything. You just have to be real.

    The moment you want to quit? That’s exactly when you should keep going.

    And if you ever needed a sign to be a little louder, a little braver, a little more you… this is it.

  • How to think, feel, live better.

    How to think, feel, live better.

    Lately I’ve been trying this wild concept called… being nice to my brain.

    Not in a “toxic positivity, everything’s fine” kind of way. More like rewiring the way I think so I don’t spiral every time my to-do list looks like a pharmacy receipt.

    It’s honestly not that deep, just small shifts that help me feel more grounded, more grateful, more me. And if you’ve been feeling a little all over the place too, here’s your gentle reminder that your brain’s not broken. It just needs a little love (and maybe a deep breath).

    So if you’re tired of thinking the same negative thoughts on repeat (hi, overthinking besties), it’s time to do a little rewiring.

    And no, you don’t need to move to Bali, delete all your apps, or become a full-time monk. Just try this:

    Be obsessed with gratitude (like, in a cute way)
    Start and end your day by listing three things you’re grateful for. Yes, even if the only thing you can think of is “iced coffee” or “my hoodie.” It counts.
    Why it works: You’re literally training your brain to search for the good. Over time, you’ll start noticing more small wins, more beauty, more you got this moments.

    Tell your negative thoughts to chill
    Your brain: “Everything is terrible and you’re definitely failing.”
    You: “Whoa there. Is that even true?”
    This is your cue to hit pause mid-doom spiral and flip the script. Instead of “I’m so behind,” try “I’m doing the best I can, and that’s enough today.”
    Mental gymnastics? Kind of. Worth it? Always.

    Just breathe (literally)
    Sit. Breathe. For five whole minutes.
    Put your phone down, close your eyes, and just… exist.
    This tiny habit doesn’t just calm your nervous system, it helps you move through the day with more ease. More clarity. Less reacting, more responding.

    Here’s the vibe:
    You don’t have to “fix” yourself. You’re not broken. But you can choose to create better thought habits, feel better in your body, and live from a place of peace instead of panic.

    It’s all tiny shifts. Gratitude. A breath. A thought flipped.
    Over time, it adds up. And suddenly, you’re the calm one. The grounded one. The one who glows from the inside out.

    Let’s romanticize that.

  • Crying in the car counts as self-care, right?

    Crying in the car counts as self-care, right?

    I’ve been known (by myself) to cope with a bad week by blasting Justin Bieber’s Journals and crying in my car like I’m the main character of a very dramatic indie film that got bad reviews but still has a cult following.

    And honestly? 10/10 recommend.

    Some people vent to their friends. Some people go for a run. Me? I put on a hoodie, throw on sunglasses (even if it’s cloudy), and sip my iced coffee like it’s a prescription. That’s my emotional support beverage, your honour. The Vida barista doesn’t know she’s part of my healing journey, but she is.

    Humour has always been my favourite coping tool. If I can laugh about it, even a little, it doesn’t feel quite as heavy. I’ll lay on the couch and watch an Adam Sandler movie (highly recommend), or turn a full-on meltdown into a funny story I tell my podcast listeners. It’s not about ignoring how I feel, it’s about softening the edges. Giving myself a way to breathe through the mess. Sometimes you’ve got to make the mental breakdown artsy.

    Here are a few very real, very unhinged ways I romanticize a bad week:

    • Wearing an oversized hoodie, cycle shorts and pairing it with my reading glasses like I’m in hiding from the paparazzi (even though I’m just avoiding small talk at the grocery store).
    • Driving down to the beach with my digital camera and Kelsea Ballerini on repeat like I’m filming a breakup montage, except the only person I’m breaking up with is burnout.
    • Sitting in my car, seat fully reclined, watching the waves and pretending the ocean is giving me a TED Talk about how everything is going to be okay.
    • Ordering pizza for one, pouring a glass of red wine and telling myself I’m on a solo date.
    • Crying dramatically in the shower with Charli XCX playing. Peak cinema.

    The truth is: life gets weird. Days get hard. But finding little ways to comfort myself, to laugh, to feel cozy, to make it all feel a little softer? That’s become one of the kindest things I do for me.

    So if your week’s been trash and you just feel over it, here’s your reminder: your healing can be messy, funny, dramatic, and full of iced coffee. That doesn’t make it any less valid. You’re still growing. Still trying. Still doing your best.

    And if you need me, I’ll be parked by the beach, blasting sad songs and pretending the sunset is clapping for me.

  • Let’s normalize being best friends with your partner.

    Let’s normalize being best friends with your partner.

    Let’s just normalize this already: your partner should be your best friend. Period.

    Not in a cheesy, “we wear matching pajamas” kind of way (though, honestly, love that for you). I’m talking about real friendship, the kind where you laugh at dumb sh*t together, feel safe being your weirdest self, and don’t need to perform to be loved. Where comfort is chemistry. Where being seen and accepted as you are is the whole point.

    And I’ll be honest… that’s not the kind of love I used to chase.

    For way too long, I found myself drawn to emotionally unavailable guys. The ones who were hot and mysterious and said things like “I’m just not ready for anything serious right now” right after trauma-dumping on our second date. You know the type. Charming enough to keep you hooked, distant enough to keep you confused. And for some reason? That felt exciting.

    When someone isn’t emotionally available, your brain can trick you into thinking that inconsistency = a challenge. And chasing that validation starts to feel like a reward. Like, if I can just get him to pick me, it means I’m enough.


    But real love?
    Real love doesn’t make you earn it.

    I’d stick around for the crumbs of affection, convinced that the little moments meant something deeper. That if I just held on, the dream version of him I created in my head would eventually show up in real life. But he never did, because I wasn’t in love with him. I was in love with the idea of him.

    And here’s where it got even messier: sometimes I think I chased emotionally unavailable people because I was scared of actual intimacy too. If they’re never fully in, I don’t have to be either. It’s a built-in escape plan. I can say I’m trying without risking too much. It’s safer, in a weird backwards way.

    But that safety? It’s also what keeps you stuck.

    Lately, I’ve been thinking about what love actually should feel like. And it looks a lot less like chasing and more like choosing. Choosing someone who chooses you back. Someone who texts first, who asks about your day, who knows your coffee order and what show you rewatch when you’re sad. The kind of person you want to do boring errands with and send unhinged TikTok’s to at 1AM.

    Someone who feels like home.
    Like your best friend.

    Because here’s the truth I’m finally learning: love isn’t supposed to feel like you’re auditioning. It’s supposed to feel safe, steady, fun, full of laughter, late-night convos, and forehead kisses. It’s supposed to feel like you. Messy, silly, fully human you. Where you can show up without needing to shrink or sparkle for someone else’s approval.

    So yes, I’m done romanticizing the slow-burn situationships and chasing guys who keep me guessing. I want the friend. The soft place to land. The person who stays when life gets hard and loves me in the most real way possible.

    Because when love is also friendship? That’s when it’s the good stuff.

  • If avocado toast were a personality.

    If avocado toast were a personality.

    So, here’s a fun fact you might not know: 70% of serotonin is made in your gut. Yup, that’s right. Your gut is basically the mood factory for your brain. Which means… what’s going on in there? It’s going to affect your mood, anxiety, focus, and even your mental health. Kind of a big deal, right?

    I’ve had my fair share of low-energy days when I feel like I’m running on fumes. My brain’s foggy, I’m irritated at everything, and if someone even mentions doing something I just want to throw a blanket over my head and call it a day. And it’s not that I don’t want to feel good, it’s just that sometimes, I forget how much the food I’m putting in my body actually plays a role. And when I’m eating like junk (the occasional pizza or mcflurry), my energy crashes. It’s a spiral, and it sucks.

    I feel like eating well is a form of self-care. It’s not just about looking good in a bikini or fitting into your favourite jeans. It’s about feeling good, inside and out. Because when you feed your body with good things, it responds. Better mood, better energy, clearer head (no crying to Gracie Abrams for an hour). It’s all connected. Sounds lame, but our body’s like a plant, give it the right nutrients, and it’ll thrive. Skip the water, and it’s going to start wilting.

    2 realistic ways to start bringing good eating habits into your routine.

    1. Start your day with protein.
      I know, I know, everyone says breakfast is important, but protein? What’s that even supposed to look like? It’s easy to roll out of bed, grab a coffee, and maybe a granola bar (if you’re feeling fancy). But listen, that’s not giving your body the fuel it needs. Starting your day with a solid dose of protein helps stabilize your blood sugar, boosts your energy, and keeps you full longer. Try scrambled eggs, a protein smoothie, or even a handful of nuts. It doesn’t have to be complicated, but your body will thank you.
    2. Swap one snack for something green.
      Okay, I’m not going to ask you to give up chips (unless you’re really feeling fancy), but just try swapping one snack for something green. Like, I don’t know… a handful of spinach (kidding), maybe some avocado on toast. Start small. You’d be surprised at how good you feel when you’ve got something fresh and green in your system. Plus, your gut? It’s going to love it, and your serotonin will thank you. Small swap, big difference. It’s basically like feeding your brain its daily dose of happiness.

    Eating well isn’t about being perfect or sticking to some crazy diet. Trust me, growing up, I’ve literally tried every diet or fad eating trend on the market and nothing works, but choosing to nourish your body properly.

    It’s about being kind to your body and feeding it the nutrients it needs to keep you feeling like the best version of yourself. Your gut and brain are connected, so when you start taking care of your body, your mood, focus, and energy will follow. Self-care isn’t just bubble baths and face masks. Sometimes, it’s the little things like fueling your body with the right foods that make all the difference.

    So next time you’re feeling low, remember this: What you eat matters. And maybe, just maybe, it’s time to swap that bag of chips for something that’ll make you feel real good.

  • Feeling lucky? Well, you should be.

    Feeling lucky? Well, you should be.

    Here’s the thing: optimism isn’t just for Instagram influencers posting their daily matcha orders. It’s about boosting your self-esteem and mental health. And there’s no reason we can’t lean into that, especially when it comes to dealing with all the chaos life throws at us.

    Lucky girl syndrome isn’t about being blindly positive or pretending everything’s perfect. It’s about harnessing the power of positive thinking while also recognizing that, yes sure, life’s messy and sometimes you just need to vent. It’s the perfect balance between manifesting good things and owning the fact that it’s okay to not have it all together.

    And that’s the sweet spot.

    Two things you’ll hear a lot when diving into lucky girl syndrome: manifestation and positive affirmations. Don’t roll your eyes yet. It’s not all “just think positive and it’ll happen.” There’s actual science behind it, and I swear, it works.

    When we use positive affirmations, especially in the present tense, we’re training our brains to believe that we already have the things we desire.

    In other words, when you start believing that good things are possible for you, it’s not just wishful thinking, it’s setting yourself up for actual change, because you are believing it on an emotional level too.

    Here’s some inspiration to get you started:

    • I am so lucky.
    • Everything always works out the best for me.
    • My dreams are coming true.
    • I am attracting unconditional love.
    • I have everything I need (this one is a game-changer).

    Yes, it sounds cheesy. Yes, it’s kind of like telling yourself you’re a rockstar before you actually hit the stage. But trust me, it works. And it’s all about repetition, consistency, and truly believing that the universe is on your side.

    Now, here’s where we need to draw the line: toxic positivity. No one should be pressured to be happy 100% of the time, and honestly, that’s not what lucky girl syndrome is about. Life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, and that’s okay. Sometimes you’re going to feel all the feelings, anger, frustration, sadness, and that’s just part of the ride.

    The key is to balance the good with the not-so-good. You don’t have to fake it. It’s about allowing yourself to feel what you feel while also knowing that good things are on the horizon. That’s the true magic of lucky girl syndrome.

    Oh gosh, have I lost you yet?

    So go ahead, embrace those affirmations, write them down, let the good energy flow, and give yourself space to feel all of it, because it’s all part of the process. And, guess what? it’s way better than pretending everything’s perfect when it’s not.

    Lucky girl syndrome is about shifting your mindset from self-doubt to self-belief. It’s not about pretending everything’s always rosy, it’s about trusting that the universe is on your side, even when it feels like life is throwing you curveballs. By focusing on what you want, using positive language, and being kind to yourself through the messy parts, you’re setting yourself up for real change.

    So, are you ready to catch the lucky girl vibe? Because the universe? It’s got your back. And you’ve totally got this.

  • Crying > Coping > Main Character Energy

    Crying > Coping > Main Character Energy

    So…I just turned 30 (2 months ago).
    Which is wild, because mentally I still feel 22, emotionally I’m 55, and physically? Somewhere between a Pilates girlie and a grandma with a heating pad.

    But here’s the thing: this year, I’m choosing me. Not in the cliché, hashtag self-love way. I mean really choosing myself. Saying no more often. Trusting my gut. Letting go of versions of me that played small just to be liked.

    Thirty feels like shedding, softening, and finally stepping into something real. And honestly? I’m kinda into it.

    Change doesn’t always come in softly. Sometimes it shows up unannounced, flips your world upside down, and leaves you staring at your ceiling asking, “What the hell am I even doing?”

    It’s awkward. It’s uncomfortable. It’s the emotional version of growing out your bangs and wondering if you made a mistake, but deep down, you know you didn’t.

    That’s where I am right now.
    Somewhere in between who I was and who I’m becoming.

    You know that moment when you’re tired of being unhappy and you start wanting more for yourself? Yes, that. I’m relearning who I am. Letting go of old habits, old narratives, old versions of me that once felt safe, but now feel like wearing jeans that don’t fit anymore.

    And while this growth thing sounds empowering, sometimes it just feels like confusion with a little hope sprinkled in.

    Even in the mess, there’s this quiet knowing, that this discomfort is leading somewhere good. That I’m not falling apart, I’m unfolding.

    Because change isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about remembering who you’ve always been… underneath the fear, the overthinking, the self doubt, the people-pleasing, the “shoulds.”

    If you’re also in a weird little season of becoming, just know this:

    You’re not behind.
    You’re not lost.
    You’re just in progress.

    And progress doesn’t always look cute on the outside. Sometimes it looks like crying at 2PM, deleting Instagram, buying a journal to deal with your intrusive thoughts, or making playlists at midnight. Still counts.

    Change is weird. Growth is weird. But staying stuck just to feel comfortable? That’s even weirder.

    So here’s to letting go, starting over, getting uncomfortable, and trusting that the new chapter is going to be so damn worth it.

    We’re going to be okay. Actually, we’re going to be better.

  • Burnout? Not hot. Protect your peace.

    Burnout? Not hot. Protect your peace.

    Let’s talk about hustle culture for a sec. Look, I am an ambitious girlie too. However, grinding 24/7, glorifying burnout, answering emails at 11PM like it’s cute. We’ve all been there. But let’s be real: constantly being “on” isn’t the flex it used to be.

    Being exhausted isn’t a personality trait. And honestly? Hustle culture is just corporate gaslighting in a hoodie.

    So if you needed someone to tell you it’s okay to slow down, hi, it’s me. Here are 5 little self-care hacks for when you’re ready to unsubscribe from the productivity cult and actually enjoy your life.

    Give yourself permission to be unproductive

    Yes, really. No checklists. No “just one more task.” Just you… chilling. Your worth is not measured by your output, babe. Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is absolutely nothing.

    Make it a vibe: wear your fluffiest socks, stare at the ceiling, or nap like you’re getting paid for it.

    Turn on DND and disappear into a good book or show

    You do not need to respond to that email right now. Or that group chat. Or that random DM from your ex.

    Put your phone on Do Not Disturb, grab a cosy blanket, get on the couch and binge that show you’ve already watched five times. Rewatching Vampire Diaries again? Iconic behaviour.

    Text someone you miss

    Connection is underrated. And sometimes, a simple “Hey, I was thinking of you” is enough to make someone’s day (and yours).

    No need for a deep convo or perfectly crafted message. Just hit send. Emotional support doesn’t have to be complicated.

    Have a solo moment (yes, that kind)

    Let’s stop pretending that self-care is only skincare and smoothies. Sometimes, some self-pleasure can work wonders for your mood.

    Pleasure isn’t just allowed, it’s essential. Your body deserves to feel good without guilt. Explore, connect, repeat.

    Romanticize something stupidly simple

    Light a scented candle before answering emails. Make your morning coffee like you’re starring in a French indie film. Put on a cute outfit just to go to the grocery store. Life isn’t always aesthetic, but you can make the tiniest moments feel special anyway.

    How can you achieve your goals, if you’re constantly exhausted? Take care of yourself first, everything else can wait.