the ward method

Tag: personal-growth

  • How to focus on yourself (without disappearing from the world).

    How to focus on yourself (without disappearing from the world).

    There’s this moment we all hit , usually after giving too much of ourselves to people, jobs, situations, or just the chaos of life, where you’re like, wait, when did I stop checking in with myself?

    Focusing on yourself doesn’t mean going full hermit or cutting everyone off. It’s about redirecting your energy inward for a bit. Slowing down enough to ask, what do I actually need right now?

    If you’ve been feeling stretched thin or a little lost, here are 4 ways to gently shift the focus back to you, without guilt, drama, or disappearing completely.

    1. Romanticize your solo time

    Start small. Take yourself for a drive, make your morning coffee slower, read in silence, sit in the sun. You don’t need a full “main character energy” routine to reconnect with yourself, you just need to stop filling every moment with noise.

    The more time you spend alone (and actually enjoy it), the more grounded you feel. It’s like your nervous system finally exhales.

    2. Stop tracking everyone else’s timeline

    You’re not behind. You’re not late. You’re not missing out.
    It just feels that way because we’re constantly scrolling through other people’s highlight reels.

    Remind yourself that comparison isn’t clarity. You can’t hear your own voice if you’re tuned into everyone else’s channel. When you notice yourself spiraling into “they’re doing more than me,” take a step back. Ask, “what’s one small thing I can do for my life right now?”

    It’s a quiet shift, but it changes everything.

    3. Take inventory of your energy

    Think of your energy like a bank account, every conversation, habit, or thought is a transaction.
    Start asking, is this giving or taking?

    If something constantly leaves you drained, a person, a routine, an obligation, it might be time to adjust your boundaries. Focusing on yourself is sometimes just saying “no” more often. Not out of selfishness, but out of self-preservation.

    4. Do something that reminds you who you are

    Not who you were , who you are now.
    That might mean picking up a hobby you dropped, dancing in your room again, taking a walk without your phone, or starting that project you’ve been scared to do.

    It’s so easy to lose yourself in the noise of “what’s next.” But you already know who you are, you’ve just been too distracted to notice.

    Final thought:
    Focusing on yourself isn’t about becoming some perfectly put-together version of you. It’s about getting back to the version that feels real, the one that isn’t trying so hard to prove anything.

    When you start treating yourself like someone worth prioritizing, your whole world starts to shift quietly in your favor.

  • Every step forward is a victory. Here’s why.

    Every step forward is a victory. Here’s why.

    We live in a world obsessed with the “big wins.” Landing the dream job. Hitting 100k followers. Finally moving into the Pinterest-perfect apartment.

    And while all of that is amazing, the truth is most of life happens in the in-between, the small, sometimes unglamorous steps no one claps for.

    But here’s what I’ve been realizing: every step forward counts as a victory.

    The problem with “all or nothing” thinking?

    How many times have you brushed off progress because it wasn’t the big thing?

    • “I only wrote one page today.”
    • “I went for a 15-minute walk, but it’s not like I ran a marathon.”
    • “I pitched one client, but I didn’t land ten.”

    We act like progress only matters when it’s massive. But the big moments are literally just stacks of small ones.

    Every time you choose to show up, whether it’s sending the email, journaling for 5 minutes, or just deciding not to give up, you’re building proof. Proof that you’re consistent, that you’re learning, that you’re moving.

    And the brain loves proof. It’s like tiny receipts that add up to self-trust.

    That’s why those little steps aren’t “meh.” They’re victories. They’re you proving to yourself that you’re capable of more than your fear wants you to believe.

    Every step forward, no matter how small, is a win. And when you start to see it that way, you stop waiting to feel “successful someday” and realize, you’re already building it today.

    Future you will thank you for the steps you’re taking now.

  • How to be non-toxic.

    How to be non-toxic.

    Let’s be real, no one wants to admit it, but we’ve all had moments where we overreacted, got defensive, or just plain made things about ourselves. Being non-toxic isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being self-aware, thoughtful, and willing to grow. Here are some simple ways to keep your energy healthy for yourself and the people around you:

    1. Stop Making Everything an Issue

    Not every little thing needs a reaction. Sometimes, it’s fine to let things slide. Not every word, action, or mistake has to become a debate. Chill a little. Your energy will thank you, and so will the people around you.

    2. Stop Reacting to Everything

    Pause before responding. Take a breath. Ask yourself: Does this actually matter? Not every comment or situation needs your emotional energy. Reacting less doesn’t make you weak, it makes you in control.

    3. Learn to Be Supportive

    Celebrate others’ wins, listen without judgment, and offer help without expecting anything in return. Support isn’t transactional, it’s about genuinely caring. When you lift others up, you lift yourself too.

    4. Don’t Let Insecurity Drive You

    Jealousy, comparison, and defensiveness often come from insecurity. When you feel triggered, pause and reflect: What am I really afraid of? The more you work on self-confidence, the less you’ll project negativity onto others.

    5. Humble Yourself

    Ego is a fast track to toxicity. Be willing to step back, admit you don’t know everything, and let others have their moment. Humility doesn’t make you small, it makes you approachable and trustworthy.

    6. Admit Your Mistakes

    Nobody’s perfect. Saying “I messed up” is far more powerful than insisting you’re always right. Owning your errors builds respect and keeps resentment from creeping into relationships.

    7. Be Thankful

    Gratitude is one of the easiest ways to detox your mind. When you focus on what’s good, you naturally stop obsessing over what’s not. A little appreciation goes a long way, for yourself and for others.

    Bottom line: being non-toxic isn’t about controlling others or suppressing your emotions. It’s about taking responsibility for your energy, being mindful of your reactions, and choosing growth over defensiveness.

    Small shifts, big impact, the more you practice, the more effortless it becomes.

  • 3 ways to live life that feels like you.

    3 ways to live life that feels like you.

    Life is messy, beautiful, confusing, and sometimes just plain exhausting. And honestly? There’s no one “right” way to do it. But after a lot of trial and error (and some awkward detours), I’ve found a few simple ways to live that actually feel like me, and maybe they’ll resonate with you, too.

    1. Show Up for Yourself, First.

    Before you can really show up for anyone else, you have to be in your own corner. That means honouring your needs, feelings, and boundaries, even when it’s uncomfortable. It’s saying “no” without guilt, carving out time to recharge, and choosing what lights you up instead of what drains you. When you prioritize your well-being, the rest falls into place more easily.

    2. Embrace the Uncertainty.

    Life rarely looks like the perfect plan. Sometimes, things get messy, and that’s okay. Instead of fighting the unknown or trying to control every detail, lean into the uncertainty. Be curious about what might happen next. Growth happens in the in-between spaces, not just the clear-cut milestones. So take a deep breath, trust your gut, and remember: it’s okay not to have all the answers.

    3. Create Your Own Definition of Success.

    Forget society’s checklist of success, the perfect job, the “right” relationship, the dream house. Your version of success might be slower, softer, and way more aligned with your values. Maybe it’s about meaningful connections, creative projects, or just waking up feeling calm and grateful. When you define success on your own terms, you stop chasing and start being.

    Living life your way isn’t about having it all figured out. It’s about choosing what matters to you, even when it feels scary or unconventional. It’s about being kind to yourself through the highs and lows and trusting that you’re exactly where you need to be.

    Here’s to living a life that feels less like a checklist, and more like you.

  • Q3 energy = soft goals + steady growth.

    Q3 energy = soft goals + steady growth.

    Somewhere along the way, we decided that planning your life had to feel like a part-time job.
    Colour-coded calendars. 5am alarms. Daily “power hour” blocks and quarterly vision boards.

    Cute in theory. Exhausting in reality.

    So here’s a radical idea:
    What if Q3 didn’t need to be your grind era?
    What if it could be your soft launch season, the one where you slow down, tune in, and grow at your own pace?

    That’s where I’m at.

    I’m calling it my “slow mornings, soft goals, steady growth” era. And no, it’s not a fancy routine with 17 steps. It’s more like a gentle rhythm I can return to when life feels a little loud.

    Here’s what it actually looks like:

    Slow mornings.

    Not “no mornings.” Just… slower ones.
    Ones where I actually pause before reaching for my phone. Where I write something down, make coffee, open a window. Where I let the day greet me instead of chasing it.

    You don’t need a 6-step skincare routine and a sunrise yoga flow (unless you love that). Sometimes, it’s enough to just sit with yourself for a few minutes and breathe.

    Soft goals.

    Not lazy goals. Not vague goals. Just goals that don’t make you want to cry.

    I’ve stopped trying to do all the things at once. Now, I pick 2–3 focus areas for the quarter, things that genuinely matter to me. Things I want to grow, not force.

    It’s less “reinvent your life in 30 days” and more “what can I pour into, slowly and meaningfully?”

    Steady growth.

    This is the part no one talks about.
    The quiet wins. The baby steps. The kind of progress that doesn’t show up on Instagram but feels huge in your own life.

    For me, that means checking in once a week.
    Not to critique, but to reflect:

    • What actually worked this week?
    • What felt off?
    • Did I move in the direction of the life I want?

    I do this with a notebook. Or sometimes in the notes app. Or on a walk. No rules, just realignment.

    We’re so used to pushing for more that we forget how powerful it is to move with intention instead of urgency.

    So if your brain’s been loud lately, if the world feels like a group project you didn’t sign up for, this is your sign to slow down. Pick a few things that matter. Create a rhythm that supports your peace, not just your productivity.

    Because Q3 doesn’t have to be a sprint.
    It can be the season where you finally stop rushing and start savouring.

  • Distraction is the enemy of vision.

    Distraction is the enemy of vision.

    We live in a world where everyone’s doing something.
    Launching something. Building something. Manifesting something.
    It’s constant motion, but what’s the intention behind it?

    Because here’s the thing no one really talks about:
    Distraction doesn’t always look like scrolling TikTok or binge-watching another comfort show.
    Sometimes, distraction looks like productivity. Like staying busy with everything but the thing that actually matters.

    We signal instead of do.
    We post about healing before we’ve even taken a breath.
    We say yes to everything because we’re scared of missing out, but end up missing ourselves in the process.

    The Age of Signaling

    In a hyper-online world, it’s easy to fall into the trap of signaling, showing people that you’re self-aware, evolving, healing, successful, whatever. And while there’s nothing wrong with sharing your growth, there’s a fine line between expression and performance.

    Are you actually becoming the person you want to be?
    Or are you just signaling that you’re on your way there?

    Because true vision, the kind that leads you to your purpose, isn’t loud. It doesn’t need applause.
    It’s quiet. Internal. Often messy and deeply personal.

    And it needs your full attention.

    Distraction Dilutes Clarity

    When you’re constantly consuming other people’s goals, routines, aesthetics, timelines, it’s easy to start questioning your own.
    You lose clarity. You lose time. You lose you.

    Distraction isn’t always the obvious stuff.
    It’s also:

    • Comparing your pace to someone else’s
    • Saying “yes” to things that feel like a “meh”
    • Getting caught up in aesthetics over alignment
    • Reaching for validation instead of connection

    And worst of all?
    Distraction keeps you almost fulfilled, busy enough to feel productive, but not grounded enough to feel purposeful.

    Vision requires boundaries

    If you have a vision for your life, a business, a book, a lifestyle, a version of you who feels more at peace, you need boundaries.
    With your time. With your energy. With your attention.

    That doesn’t mean being rigid or robotic.
    It means making space for the real work.
    It means tuning in instead of tapping out.
    It means choosing depth over noise.

    So how do you focus again?

    You don’t need a digital detox and a silent retreat (unless you want one).
    You just need to come back to yourself.
    One decision at a time.

    • Ask yourself: what am I doing right now, and is it aligned with where I want to go?
    • Stop signaling. Start building.
    • Let the vision be enough, even if no one claps yet.

    Because distraction may be loud, but clarity is louder, once you get quiet enough to hear it.

    You don’t need to look like you’ve got it together.
    You just need to stay connected to what actually matters.

    Let your vision lead.
    Not the noise.

  • 5 Affirmations that will actually shift your mood.

    5 Affirmations that will actually shift your mood.

    Let’s be real. Sometimes life just feels… heavy.
    Maybe you woke up on the wrong side of the bed, or the endless to-do list has you spiraling, or you’re just plain tired of carrying the weight of your own brain.
    We all have those days when our mood is less “I got this” and more “please send coffee and a hug.”

    That’s when I turn to affirmations, not the cheesy, crystal-gazing kind, but real, grounded little phrases I say to myself to get back on track.

    Here are 5 affirmations I use that actually shift my mood and help me breathe easier:

    1. “I am allowed to feel all of this.”

    Sometimes the best permission you can give yourself is to just feel.
    There’s no timeline on emotions, and telling yourself it’s okay to be upset, anxious, or even bored can take some of the pressure off.
    When I say this, it’s like telling my brain, “It’s okay. I see you. You don’t have to fix everything right now.”

    2. “This moment is temporary.”

    Nothing stays the same forever, even that weird cloud of stress or sadness you’re carrying.
    Reminding myself that whatever I’m feeling will pass helps me hold space without panicking or overthinking.
    It’s a small phrase that gives me big relief.

    3. “I don’t have to do it all today.”

    Perfectionism and burnout love to sneak in when your brain tells you you have to be perfect, always.
    This affirmation is a little rebellion against that.
    It lets me slow down, break things into chunks, and remember that progress > perfection.

    4. “I am enough just as I am.”

    Some days, the voice inside your head is your harshest critic.
    This one is a soft hug.
    A reminder that you don’t need to prove your worth or hustle harder to earn love or respect.
    You’re already enough, messy hair, overthinking brain, and all.

    5. “I choose to focus on what I can control.”

    There’s always going to be noise and chaos out there, but this affirmation grounds me.
    It’s about gently letting go of what’s outside my control and putting energy into what I can do, whether that’s a deep breath, a small task, or reaching out to a friend.
    It’s a reset button when everything feels overwhelming.

    I don’t chant them for hours or try to “manifest” a perfect day.
    Instead, I pick one that fits the moment, sometimes just whispering it under my breath when I’m in the shower, or writing it down in my notebook, or repeating it while making coffee.
    It’s the small, gentle reminders that add up over time.

    Give it a try.
    Next time you feel stuck or heavy, pick an affirmation.
    Say it out loud, write it down, or just sit with it.
    You might be surprised at how much a few words can shift your whole day.

  • How to become that girl (when you’re more of a creative loner type)

    How to become that girl (when you’re more of a creative loner type)

    aka: the soft, curious, slightly mysterious main character era

    Let’s get one thing clear:
    Being that girl doesn’t mean green juice and 6am Pilates.
    At least not in my world. Although I love them both.

    To me, it’s about becoming the version of yourself that feels good.
    The version who’s quietly consistent. A little undone. Mysterious in a “she probably journals in a meadow” kind of way.
    The girl who keeps her promises to herself, wears the same vintage jeans three days in a row, and disappears for a weekend to read and reset.

    Here’s how I’m doing that girl, my way:

    1. Keep promises to yourself (even the small ones)

    Forget the pressure to do it all.
    Start with: “I’ll go for a walk today.”
    Or: “I’ll journal for 5 minutes.”
    When you keep those tiny promises, you start to trust yourself again.
    And that trust? That’s the magic. That’s growth.

    2. Find your easy outfit formula

    Life’s too short to hate everything in your closet.
    Find 2–3 go-to combos that feel like you.
    For me? Vintage mom jeans + tiny top. Big hoodie + slicked bun. Something that says, “I didn’t try, but I look cool anyway.”

    Clothes should feel like a mood, not a costume.

    3. Stay curious

    Curiosity > perfection. Always.
    Ask more questions. Read weird books. Make bad art. Watch old movies.
    You don’t have to be an expert. You just have to stay open.
    That’s what keeps you interesting. That’s what keeps you you.

    4. Learn how to say no (nicely, but clearly)

    “No” is self-respect in a cute little outfit.
    You don’t owe anyone constant access to your energy.
    Saying no without over-explaining is a skill, and honestly? A superpower.
    You get to protect your peace. That’s part of the glow-up.

    5. Take intentional rest

    There’s rest… and then there’s intentional rest.
    The kind where you unplug without guilt.
    Where you take yourself on a solo matcha date, blast a slow playlist, or nap because you’re a human being, not a machine.

    The reset isn’t the reward.
    It’s part of the process.

  • How to quiet the negative thoughts.

    How to quiet the negative thoughts.

    How are you approaching this week, calm and grounded, or already spiraling over something random that happened three days ago?
    Same.

    Here’s the truth: our brains love to overthink.
    Especially if you’re creative, sensitive, or tend to feel things deeply.
    You might find yourself overanalyzing everything, from the way you replied to that text, to the tone of your voice on a Zoom call.
    And before you know it, you’re stuck in a loop of “what ifs” and “should haves” that leave you feeling exhausted and disconnected from yourself.

    So how do we stop the spiral?
    Here are 3 surprisingly simple ways I’ve learned to quiet negative thinking, without needing a 10-step routine or a personality transplant.

    1. Name it, don’t nurture it

    The next time a harsh thought shows up, don’t argue with it. Don’t feed it. Just name it.

    “That’s anxiety.”
    “That’s insecurity.”
    “That’s my inner critic trying to keep me small.”

    By labeling the thought, you separate yourself from it. You remind your brain:
    “This isn’t truth. This is just a thought.”
    And that tiny shift in awareness? It changes everything.

    2. Interrupt the pattern

    Sometimes your brain just needs a pattern break. A full-on “we’re not doing this right now” moment.
    When I catch myself spiraling, I do something, anything—to interrupt it.

    A walk. A cold glass of water. A playlist switch. A quick call to my someone who gets it.
    Even something as small as stepping outside barefoot for 30 seconds.

    You don’t always need deep healing.
    Sometimes you just need to change the channel.

    3. Talk to yourself like someone you love

    I used to think being hard on myself made me productive.
    That if I could just “tough love” my way out of a funk, I’d feel better faster.
    Spoiler: it doesn’t work like that.

    The real shift happened when I started speaking to myself the way I speak to people I love.
    Not with fake affirmations or cheesy mantras, but with patience, softness, and understanding.

    You can be growing and still be kind to yourself.
    You can be working on things and still treat yourself like a human being.

    Negative thoughts are going to come and go. That’s part of being human.
    But we don’t have to let them define us.
    You have the power to pause. To question. To choose a softer story.

    This week, if your mind starts spiraling, try naming the thought, breaking the loop, and showing yourself a little grace.

    You don’t have to fix everything.
    Just start with how you speak to yourself.

  • No one’s you, and that’s your power(a gentle reminder in a world that keeps trying to shape you)

    No one’s you, and that’s your power(a gentle reminder in a world that keeps trying to shape you)

    There’s this line from On the Road that always hits me in the gut:
    “There was nowhere to go but everywhere, so just keep on rolling under the stars.”

    That kind of wild, free, unfiltered energy, it makes you want to exhale. Makes you want to grab your keys, leave your phone behind, and just drive with the windows down. Because when the world feels heavy, loud, and a little too curated, that’s what we crave. Realness. Stillness. Ourselves.

    But it’s hard, right? To be yourself when everyone and everything is trying to sell you someone else.

    Scroll through your feed and you’re told to be softer but more productive. Thinner but body positive. Confident but not too loud. Authentic but also aesthetically on brand.

    It’s a lot.

    And somewhere between overthinking captions and questioning your path, you can forget who you were before the noise.

    So here’s your reminder, from one soul to another:

    You were never meant to fit.

    You weren’t born to be digestible. To shrink into a category. To shape-shift for likes, for approval, for peacekeeping.

    You were made to take up space. To feel deeply. To cry in public if you need to. To laugh hard at the wrong time. To wear the outfit you love even if it doesn’t make sense to anyone else.

    You were made to make people feel something. Not everyone will like that. But not everyone was meant to be your people.

    You don’t need to have a 5-year plan.

    You just need to have a pulse and a passion and a little bit of faith that if you keep showing up as you, life will meet you where you are. Not where you’re pretending to be.

    We live in a world obsessed with productivity, perfection, and performance. But the best parts of life, the real, electric, human stuff, they don’t live on to-do lists.

    They live in the in-between. In the weird voice you use when you talk to your dog. In the way you sing when you drive alone. In the messy notes app ideas that make no sense but still feel like magic.

    That’s where you live. That’s where your art is.

    When in doubt, choose soul over strategy.

    Because when you show up as the most you version of you, even if it’s not trending, even if it’s not polished, that’s when life starts to feel real again.

    Your presence doesn’t need a filter. Your thoughts don’t need to be profound. You don’t need to say the “right” thing or follow the “right” path or make your parents proud with a job title that sounds important but feels soul-sucking.

    You just need to be you. In whatever version that looks like today.

    And no, not everyone will get it.

    But the right people will.

    They’ll be drawn to your spark. Your humanness. Your realness.

    Not the version you curated, but the version you allowed.

    So keep showing up in your way. In your time. With your truth.

    Make things that feel good. Say the weird thing in the meeting. Dance badly. Cry when you need to. Laugh too loud. Take breaks. Post the photo. Leave when it feels wrong. Stay when it feels right.

    And if you ever feel lost, like you’re floating and unsure, just look up.

    There’s nowhere to go but everywhere.

    So take a breath. Roll slow under the stars.
    And come back home to yourself.