the ward method

Tag: relationships

  • How to be non-toxic.

    How to be non-toxic.

    Let’s be real, no one wants to admit it, but we’ve all had moments where we overreacted, got defensive, or just plain made things about ourselves. Being non-toxic isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being self-aware, thoughtful, and willing to grow. Here are some simple ways to keep your energy healthy for yourself and the people around you:

    1. Stop Making Everything an Issue

    Not every little thing needs a reaction. Sometimes, it’s fine to let things slide. Not every word, action, or mistake has to become a debate. Chill a little. Your energy will thank you, and so will the people around you.

    2. Stop Reacting to Everything

    Pause before responding. Take a breath. Ask yourself: Does this actually matter? Not every comment or situation needs your emotional energy. Reacting less doesn’t make you weak, it makes you in control.

    3. Learn to Be Supportive

    Celebrate others’ wins, listen without judgment, and offer help without expecting anything in return. Support isn’t transactional, it’s about genuinely caring. When you lift others up, you lift yourself too.

    4. Don’t Let Insecurity Drive You

    Jealousy, comparison, and defensiveness often come from insecurity. When you feel triggered, pause and reflect: What am I really afraid of? The more you work on self-confidence, the less you’ll project negativity onto others.

    5. Humble Yourself

    Ego is a fast track to toxicity. Be willing to step back, admit you don’t know everything, and let others have their moment. Humility doesn’t make you small, it makes you approachable and trustworthy.

    6. Admit Your Mistakes

    Nobody’s perfect. Saying “I messed up” is far more powerful than insisting you’re always right. Owning your errors builds respect and keeps resentment from creeping into relationships.

    7. Be Thankful

    Gratitude is one of the easiest ways to detox your mind. When you focus on what’s good, you naturally stop obsessing over what’s not. A little appreciation goes a long way, for yourself and for others.

    Bottom line: being non-toxic isn’t about controlling others or suppressing your emotions. It’s about taking responsibility for your energy, being mindful of your reactions, and choosing growth over defensiveness.

    Small shifts, big impact, the more you practice, the more effortless it becomes.

  • Female friendships in adulthood.

    Female friendships in adulthood.

    Adulting is hard. Between careers, relationships, self-care routines, and everything else, keeping friendships alive can sometimes feel like a full-time job, and honestly, it kind of is. But healthy female friendships? They’re everything. They’re the tribe that holds you up, makes you laugh when you want to cry, and reminds you that you’re never really alone.

    Here’s the truth: maintaining friendships as adults isn’t about constant texts or weekly hangouts. It’s about quality over quantity, real connection over surface-level “likes,” and showing up in ways that matter.

    Here’s how I keep my friendships healthy, honest, and meaningful, even when life gets chaotic:

    1. Make Intentional Time (Even if It’s Small)

    Life gets busy, and “catching up” can sometimes mean a quick text or a 20-minute phone call. That’s okay. The key is being intentional. Schedule those little moments, even if it’s just grabbing coffee or sending a thoughtful message, to remind your friends they matter. Quality beats quantity every time.

    2. Be Real, Always

    Adult friendships thrive on authenticity. That means showing up with your messy, imperfect self. Share your wins, your struggles, your bad days, and your good ones. Vulnerability deepens connections and builds trust, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.

    3. Respect Boundaries

    Everyone’s energy ebbs and flows. Sometimes your friend needs space, and that’s okay. Respecting boundaries, whether it’s around time, topics, or emotional capacity, keeps friendships sustainable and loving, rather than draining.

    4. Celebrate Each Other’s Growth

    Adult friendships evolve as we do. Instead of comparing where you each “should” be, celebrate the different paths and milestones. Whether it’s a new job, a tough decision, or a mental health breakthrough, being your friend’s biggest cheerleader is a superpower.

    5. Let Go of Guilt

    Maybe you missed a call, canceled plans, or haven’t spoken in a while. It happens. Let go of the guilt. True friendships survive silence, and sometimes life just takes over. What matters is the intention to reconnect and keep showing up when you can.

    6. Have Fun, No Pressure

    Friendships don’t always have to be deep conversations or emotional support. Sometimes, the best moments come from doing nothing serious, laughing over bad movies, crazy exes, dancing in the kitchen, or sending memes that make no sense.

    Friendships in adulthood aren’t perfect, but they’re worth the effort. They remind us who we are beyond the hustle, anchor us when things feel heavy, and bring joy when we least expect it.

    If you’re feeling disconnected, don’t overthink it, just reach out, be honest, and remember that real friendships aren’t about always being present, but about being present enough for each other.

    Because at the end of the day, it’s those bonds that keep us sane, inspired, and whole.

  • Are you a Ward or a mouse?

    Are you a Ward or a mouse?

    It’s a line I’ve heard my whole life.

    “Are you a Ward or a mouse?”

    My dad would say it half-jokingly, usually when I was having a meltdown, too scared to take the shot, or spiraling in self-doubt. It wasn’t said to dismiss my feelings, but to remind me of who I am. Of what I’m made of. And more importantly, who I’m capable of becoming.

    At the time, I would just laugh. I mean, hello, let me cry in peace. But now, as an adult, I carry those words like armour.

    Because life is going to knock you down. More than once. There will be days where you question your worth, your path, your abilities, days where everything feels like too much. And in those moments, that little voice echoes in my mind:

    “Are you a Ward or a mouse?”

    Not just a name, not just a catchphrase, but a reminder. That I’m not here to shrink. That I’ve survived things I thought would break me. That fear might visit, but it doesn’t get to drive.

    And maybe you didn’t grow up with that exact phrase, but I bet you’ve got something like it buried deep inside you. A voice that tells you: you’re stronger than you think.

    So how do you tap into that when everything feels heavy?

    Here’s what helps me:

    1. Say it out loud.
    Seriously. Say the phrase, or your version of it. Words have power. Speaking it reminds your body who you are. (Even if you’re crying while doing it. Especially then.)

    2. Do one brave thing.
    Send the email. Go to the gym. Post the thing. Apply for the job. Start the business. Take the step, even if your hands are shaking. Courage isn’t loud, it’s often the quiet decision to keep going.

    3. Make a ‘proof list’.
    Write down three things you’ve overcome. Three moments you were scared, but did it anyway. Let your past remind you that you’ve got receipts for your resilience.

    4. Move.
    Walk. Dance. Stretch. Move the energy around. Sometimes the shift happens not in your mind, but in your body.

    5. Let someone hype you up.
    Text your friend. Call your dad. Watch that YouTube video or listen to the podcast that always lifts you. Borrow someone else’s belief in you until you can feel your own again.

    Being brave isn’t about being fearless, it’s about feeling the fear and showing up anyway.

    You don’t have to roar to prove you’re strong. You just have to choose not to hide.

    So next time life tries to knock you back into your shell, ask yourself the question that’s been passed down in my family for years:

    Are you a [insert your last name]… or a mouse?

    And then remind yourself:
    You were never meant to be small.

  • When you’re tired of feeling everything all the time.

    When you’re tired of feeling everything all the time.

    Some days, I genuinely don’t know how I got out of bed.
    It’s not laziness. It’s not a lack of gratitude.
    It’s the heaviness that sits in your bones when your mind is in overdrive and your heart feels way too full.

    I’ve always been someone who feels deeply. The kind of person who reads between the lines even when no one asked me to. Who notices the shift in someone’s tone, the way their eyes flicker when they say “I’m fine.” Who can feel the energy in a room shift before anyone else does. And while that sensitivity can be a gift, it can also be so exhausting.

    Some days I love my own company. I romanticize my solo walks, matcha mornings, creative work sessions, and quiet evenings. But other days? The silence feels deafening. I look around and realize I don’t have people to share life with the way I want to. And the independence I’m usually so proud of suddenly feels like a wall I didn’t mean to build.

    It’s a strange place to be, craving connection but feeling misunderstood. Wanting to open up but feeling like no one would really get it.
    So you keep it all in. You carry it quietly.
    You smile, you work, you post.
    And underneath it all, you’re screaming into the void, just hoping someone might feel it too.

    I don’t have a magic answer for this.
    But I do know that feeling a lot doesn’t make you weak. It means you’re awake. Alive.
    It means you’re still in tune with the parts of yourself that this world hasn’t numbed.

    You don’t have to “fix” yourself for feeling too much. You don’t have to shrink or harden or pretend things don’t get to you. What you need is grace. Space to feel what you’re feeling without trying to justify it or wrap it in a bow.

    And if you’re in a season right now where everything feels a little heavy, where your bed feels safer than the world, and your thoughts feel louder than your voice, just know this:
    You’re not alone. You’re not dramatic. You’re not broken.
    You’re just feeling your way through it.

    And that’s more than enough for today.

  • How to quiet your inner hater.

    How to quiet your inner hater.

    (Because she’s loud, dramatic, and usually wrong)

    You know the one.
    The voice that pops up the second you start to feel good about yourself.

    “You really think you’re gonna pull that off?”
    “She’s way better at that than you are.”
    “Maybe just… stay small today.”

    That voice?
    That’s your inner hater. And we all have one.

    Some days she whispers, some days she yells. But either way, she’s exhausting, and most of the time, she’s not even telling the truth.

    So how do you quiet her down without pretending she doesn’t exist?

    Here’s what’s helped me:

    1. Catch her in the act.

    The first step is noticing when she shows up. It’s usually in moments of growth or vulnerability. A new opportunity, a first date, a creative idea you’re excited about.
    She’ll try to keep you “safe” by talking you out of anything that feels unfamiliar.

    But once you name her—”oh hey, it’s that self-doubt again”, you take away some of her power.

    Awareness = distance.

    2. Talk back… like a friend would.

    Would you let your best friend say that sh*t to herself? No.
    So when your inner critic spirals into “You’re not good enough,”
    try this instead:
    “Actually, I’m doing the best I can.”
    “This feels hard, but I’m still showing up.”
    “I don’t have to be perfect to be proud of myself.”

    You don’t need to lie to yourself. You just need to be kinder.

    3. Take the action anyway.

    Your inner hater thrives on inaction.
    If you stay stuck, she gets to stay in charge.

    But when you do the thing, launch the blog, go to the event, wear the outfit, say the thing, you collect evidence that she’s wrong.
    That you’re capable. Resilient. Worth listening to.

    And the more evidence you collect, the quieter she gets.

    Your inner critic isn’t bad, she’s just outdated.

    She’s running on old fears, old stories, old insecurities.
    But you? You’re growing. You’re evolving. And you get to rewrite the narrative.

    So the next time she tries to talk you out of your own potential, take a deep breath and remember:

    She’s loud, but you’re louder.

    You’ve got this.
    Even if your inner hater disagrees.

  • The male gaze + sexual wellness.

    The male gaze + sexual wellness.

    Let’s just say it: female pleasure has been misunderstood, dismissed, and distorted for far too long. And the male gaze? She’s been running the show like an overworked director with a fragile ego and no clue how women actually work.

    In my latest podcast episode, I unpacked the connection between the male gaze and female orgasms, and no, not just in a “sex ed” kind of way. I’m talking about the emotional, psychological, and very real impact that cultural conditioning has had on how women experience (or struggle to experience) intimacy and pleasure.

    Spoiler: it’s not you.
    It’s the pressure to perform.
    To look good while feeling good.
    To prioritize someone else’s desire over your own.

    The male gaze is not your mirror

    If you’ve ever been in your head during sex, wondering what you look like instead of how you feel, you’re not alone. That’s the male gaze, embedded like background noise in so many women’s minds.

    It’s not about hating men. It’s about understanding how growing up in a world that tells you your value is how desirable you are can really mess with your sense of self. Even in your most intimate, personal moments.

    And that shame or detachment you might feel around your body? It’s not your fault. It’s conditioning. And the good news? It can be unlearned.

    Orgasms are not a performance

    We grow up learning that pleasure is a bonus, not the point. That it’s something you earn. That it’s supposed to look a certain way. Cue the performative moans, the faking, the fear of “taking too long.”

    But here’s the truth: you don’t exist for someone else’s viewing pleasure.

    Pleasure is a birthright. Self-love isn’t just bubble baths and affirmations, it’s being able to connect to your body, feel safe in it, explore what you like, and not feel guilty about wanting more.

    So what does sexual wellness really mean?

    It means understanding that your body isn’t an object.
    It’s a home.
    A place where you feel, not just look.

    It means learning what feels good, not because Cosmo said so, not because your ex liked it, but because you like it.

    It means removing shame, comparison, and “am I doing this right?” energy from your most sacred moments.

    And yes, it means talking about orgasms on a podcast. With your iced matcha. In your car. Because that’s real life.

    If this resonated, go give the episode a listen.
    It’s not about shock value, it’s about reclaiming something that was never supposed to be shameful in the first place.

    You deserve to take up space, in your pleasure, in your body, in your story.

  • Sometimes you just have to say “ew” and move on.

    Sometimes you just have to say “ew” and move on.

    There comes a moment in adulthood when you stop overanalyzing, stop giving people chance after chance, and just say: “Ew. No. I deserve better.”
    It’s not about being cold or heartless, it’s about protecting your peace, your self-worth, and the future version of you that’s tired of being drained by the same cycles.

    Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is look at a situation, whether it’s a friendship that’s gone stale, a relationship that constantly chips away at your confidence, or a family dynamic that’s been toxic for years, and just decide:
    “This will be the last time I allow this to make me feel small, confused, or not enough.”

    That’s it. That’s the moment things shift.
    Not because anything external has changed, but because you have.

    We talk a lot about boundaries, but rarely about the moment they are born. And often, it’s not in a calm, meditative state, it’s in a burst of raw clarity.
    A “this is so not it” kind of clarity.

    Maybe it comes after another disappointing conversation.
    Another ghosted text.
    Another moment where you realize you’ve been tolerating crumbs when you deserve a full damn meal.

    And that’s when you say it, “ew.”
    Not out loud, maybe. But inside, in your gut, where the truth lives. And you move on.

    It’s about being done.
    Done explaining your worth.
    Done shrinking to fit in.
    Done making excuses for people who show you time and time again who they are.

    You’re allowed to walk away from anything that doesn’t feel good anymore.
    Even if it’s been in your life for years. Even if it looks “fine” on the outside.
    You are not obligated to keep showing up for patterns that make you miserable.

    This goes beyond romantic relationships.

    • That friend who never celebrates you, but always wants your energy when they’re low? Ew.
    • That family member who constantly throws backhanded compliments or dismisses your dreams? Ew.
    • That ex you keep circling back to because “maybe this time it’ll be different”? You already know. Ew.

    You’re allowed to outgrow people. You’re allowed to choose peace over nostalgia.

    Adulthood isn’t about having it all figured out. It’s about knowing what you won’t tolerate anymore.
    And sometimes the most radical act of self-respect is to say, “This doesn’t feel right, and I’m not doing it anymore.”

    Let people think you’re too sensitive.
    Let them think you’ve changed.
    Because you have, and that’s the point.

    This chapter of your life doesn’t need more apologies. It needs more honesty.
    It needs boundaries that don’t shake.
    It needs you to look around and decide: “If it’s not good for my energy, my peace, or my growth… I’m out.”

    Say ew, mean it, and move on. Your future self will thank you.

  • Letting go of what no longer serves you.

    Letting go of what no longer serves you.

    Your 30s hit different.

    You start craving things you didn’t even think about in your early 20s, like peace, stability, better friends, better food, and a deeper connection with yourself. You start realizing how much noise you’ve tolerated. How many people, habits, and thoughts you’ve kept around simply because you didn’t want to rock the boat.

    But here’s the truth: If it’s draining you, it’s not for you.
    And letting go isn’t dramatic, it’s growth.

    Whether it’s the situationship that’s been stringing you along for way too long, the job that feels like soul dust, the inner critic that’s been living rent-free in your head, or even the group chat that leaves you feeling weirdly off after every message… you’re allowed to outgrow what no longer aligns.

    In fact, you’re meant to.

    Here’s the mindset shift:

    Letting go isn’t losing something. It’s choosing you.

    It’s choosing to make space for better. For things that feel reciprocal. For people who clap when you win. For opportunities that don’t leave you second-guessing yourself. For the version of you that actually feels good to be in.

    Because holding onto things that no longer serve you?
    That’s the real self-abandonment.

    3 ways to start letting go (and not feel bad about it):

    1. Get radically honest.
    Ask yourself: Is this helping me grow, or is it keeping me stuck?
    Sometimes we stay attached to patterns because they’re familiar, not because they’re good for us. Getting honest with yourself is the first step to creating change.

    2. Set boundaries without guilt.
    You don’t have to explain your growth to everyone. You’re allowed to create space without writing a five-paragraph apology text. Boundaries are not walls, they’re bridges to a better version of you.

    3. Let it feel uncomfortable.
    Letting go is not always graceful. Sometimes it looks like crying in your car, deleting a number, unfollowing someone you still care about, or sitting with silence instead of seeking chaos. But that discomfort? It’s where your power builds.

    You’re not too much for wanting more.
    You’re not behind for pivoting in your 30s.
    You’re not selfish for choosing peace.

    You’re just growing into the version of you who knows her worth, and refuses to shrink to fit where she no longer belongs.

    And that version of you?
    She’s not afraid to let go anymore.

  • I hate change (but I hate being stuck more)

    I hate change (but I hate being stuck more)

    Letting go of a past relationship feels like being asked to erase a chapter of your life that still smells like your favourite candle and sounds like your shared playlist. It doesn’t matter if it ended amicably, messily, or somewhere in between, it still lingers. The what-ifs. The familiar routines. The comfort of knowing how someone takes their coffee or laughs at dumb memes.

    And if you’re anything like me, change isn’t something you run toward. It’s something that feels like it’s ripping the floor out from under you. I hate it. I really do. I hate the uncertainty, the silence after someone you used to text 20 times a day disappears, the “starting over” part. It’s exhausting. But what’s even harder? Staying stuck in something that no longer exists. Clinging to a version of life that isn’t real anymore.

    It’s okay to admit it hurts. It’s okay to admit you miss them. And it’s okay to take your time. But eventually, gently, you have to come back to yourself. To the version of you that existed before them. To the version that will exist after.

    Here are 3 healthy, realistic ways to start focusing on yourself post-breakup, no toxic positivity, no glow-up pressure, just you, healing:

    1. romanticize the little things.
    Make your morning coffee like it’s your love language. Go on walks like you’re the main character in an indie film. Light candles. Listen to sad music. Listen to happy music. Create an atmosphere in your day that makes you feel good, even if it’s small. You don’t need a full rebrand, you just need to start caring for yourself like someone you love.

    2. do something that requires your hands.
    Paint. Cook. Build something. Garden. Journal. Rearrange your room. There’s something healing about doing something physical that gets you out of your head and into the present. It won’t magically fix everything, but it’ll remind you that your life is still yours. That you can still create something out of the mess.

    3. reconnect with people who remind you who you are.
    Not people who want to talk about your ex for hours, but the ones who make you laugh really hard, who text you to go to a random coffee shop on a Sunday, who make you feel like yourself again. Healing isn’t about isolation. It’s about choosing better connection.

    4. go blonde (I might be kidding)
    Sometimes, healing starts with bleach. Or bangs. Or a bob. Changing your hair doesn’t solve everything, but it can give you that subtle “I’m back, and I don’t care” kind of energy. It’s symbolic. It’s fun. It reminds you that you’re in control, and that you’re allowed to reinvent yourself as many times as you want.

    Change sucks sometimes. It’s hard. It’s messy. And if you hate change, like I do, every part of it might feel like a fight. But you deserve a life that feels like yours again. One where you don’t have to pretend to be over it, but where, one day, you’ll notice that you kind of are.

  • Make your own money & marry someone funny

    Make your own money & marry someone funny

    I saw this quote on Pinterest the other day that said: “make your own money and marry someone funny.” And honestly? I haven’t stopped thinking about it.

    It’s a little cheeky. It’s kind of genius. And it’s also, lowkey, painfully accurate.

    Because somewhere along the way, the whole “girl boss” thing went from empowering to being the internet’s favorite thing to roll its eyes at. But I’ve been thinking, what’s actually so wrong with being a woman who has goals? Who wants more? Who’s working on herself and her finances and her future?

    Like yes, I want inner peace, emotional regulation, and dewy skin… but I also want to build something of my own. Something that’s mine. I think a lot of us do.

    And sure, some people might say that ambition isn’t “feminine” or some men don’t like that or whatever. But respectfully… who cares? If a woman being self-sufficient and successful makes someone uncomfortable, that sounds like a personal problem. Not a her problem.

    Because what is feminine (and honestly, powerful) is knowing you can take care of yourself, emotionally and financially. It’s waking up and choosing to bet on yourself, whether that’s starting a business, freelancing, negotiating your salary, or just opening that investing app you’ve been avoiding. It’s knowing your worth and building a life you actually like.

    And when it comes to love? Let’s just say we’re not asking for yachts and Birkin bags (unless you want to, of course). We’re asking for emotional support, good laughs, and someone who doesn’t shrink at your success. Funny and kind goes a long way.

    So yes, maybe the “girl boss” era got a little cringe. But wanting to be a woman with her sh*t together? That’s never going out of style.

    Normalize the women making their own money. Normalize wanting more. And while we’re at it, normalize marrying someone who can actually make you laugh.

    We’re rewriting the rules. And I kind of love it here.